What happens to a couple in reconciliation when the BW doesn't want to have sex?
Almost 9 months after DD, we are trying to reconcile. (See the summary in my profile.)
We are getting along better than we have in years, so that is a tremendous relief.
But I do not feel like having sex. In fact, abstaining is making me feel safe and somewhat free. A form of detachment I suppose. My own limited form of 180 maybe?
To complicate matters, during the years that he was cheating, he was emotionally distant and verbally mean,but our sex life was great. (For both of us.) Most nights a week unless he was traveling. I therefore placed great emotional meaning on sex. (Sex is how I express love he said ... and I believed it.)
So now sex feels like a lie. It reminds me of what an idiot I was. Hard to imagine wanting to have sex again with him or any other man.
So, my question:
What happens to a couple in reconciliation when the BW doesn't want to have sex? (Especially if the WH engaged in sexually compulsive behavior during the infidelity).
And what happens over time... if it goes on a long time?
Please advice. Be brutally honest.