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What do you want do you want for your Birthday?

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UndecidedinMA posted 7/20/2013 12:16 PM

A freaking time machine

is what I wanted to say but I am finally letting go of the sarcasm & little digs. We are doing so well, he is nbeing so much more open. Just that sometimes I get jealous that while I knwo he had pain it was nowhere the magnitude of a BS/SO

I also only ever saw my BDay as a reminder of DDay since it was I hadn't realized the 2nd anti-versary is so close(bout 6/7 weeks).

Last year I just could not even be with him on those days. This year, especially after the concert decision, I am gonna try. This time I am really gonna try.

I know they say 2nd year is harder and in ways it has been. The letting go but not forgeting is hard to separate. The moments that the ONS/EA is persent are less but I am not sure it doesn't let the intesity be more concentrated.

So about to hit year 3 - anyone BTDT?

karmahappens posted 7/21/2013 05:52 AM

but I am finally letting go of the sarcasm & little digs.

I think this is very important. If you have a spouse doing the real work it is unproductive to occasionally hit them over the head with a frying for the good of R it's necessary to take those first steps at moving away from the A.

Our reactions and how we say thing, IMO, matter. How we treat our spouse during R, matters.

I don't mean initially, we are so shocked and traumatized I give BS's a pass on what we say and do when we JFO

Year 3 will be ok, it gets calmer, less questions running through your brain. You'll have times where the A isn't even in your's a much slower ride than the first 2 years.

Important healing happens and a bond can really be re-formed going forward.

It's also important to remember you are walking a new path. Don't get complacent and slide into poor coping aware of your words/actions and feelings as you also continue to watch his.

I hope for your birthday you take time to celebrate you this year.You deserve it.

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