Around DDay, my dog kept urinating on WS. In the car, in the bedroom, IN THE BED. She wouldn't let him walk her anymore. She wouldn't go near him.
After DDay and separation, she continued sort of reversing her housetraining. I was crying a lot, clearly in distress. She kept peeing in the bed at night and elsewhere in the house.
In the last week, I've improved quite a bit. I'm not crying as much and able to pay more attention to her with walks, talking to her, etc. As of two days ago, she's stopped peeing on everything, etc.
Anyone else have a pet act strange during DDay/D/S?
He became very protective of me. If wxh and I were arguing, he would stand between us, blocking wxh from trying to hurt me.
He became my constant companion, until he passed away a year later. I still sense him in my bedroom at night- it feels like he's checking up on me. I miss him so much.
Our Lil' Elder Cat has taken to peeing on the furniture and it makes me cry every time I find it. She did not do this before he left, ever.
I told myself for a while that it's her age, as we had a "rental cat" that was one we kept for a relative for a time and he did this, but they learned it was his age and "innards", as my father called it-basically he lost function of his bodily movements.
Anyway...I think animals are really smart and know when something isn't right in their environment.
Lil' Elder Cat has also taken to sleeping on my head when I cry and the vet said it could be a way of reaching out. She never did this before, either.
I notice that she lets STBX pet her, but not like before and it's brief.
It's also very funny when she ignores him, as it doesn't help the narcissism to not have attention!
You gave me nothing and now it's all I've got - Bono
A person is a person, no matter how small. -Dr. Suess
Perserverance and spirit have done wonders in all ages.
My dog started having asthma attacks after arguments. I can tell its stress related because she never has them when he's not around.
She's also aware of my emotions. As soon as I start to sniffle, she immediately jumps up and stares at me. She comes to cuddle if the sniffle turns into crying.
It's sad because it affects them, too.
She (my dog) woke up, saw I was crying, and crawled over me so she could get into "the nook" and cuddle. The poor thing is 17 years old, can barely walk and everything hurts-- so this was a true act of love. I immediately tried to pull it together for her.
Sometimes I think to myself that I get that he did this horrible thing, figured out how to blame me for it and now has doubled-down on his "new" life because he's got a PD and he's a coward. Fair enough.
But I don't get how he could have left the dog. I know that sounds silly... but here is this innocent animal who loved him unconditionally and who can't even begin to figure out how to understand and respond to all of this beyond wetting the bed and giving kisses. It's so sad.
For people with children, it must feel a million times worse.
Wonder if it was some kind of "reclaiming" of the territory.
For his part, XWH started ignoring the dog too. I agree with you totally, Phantom. His total neglect and abandonment of an innocent little soul who was devoted to him strikes me as one of the cruelest things he did throughout the S/D. Pathetic. What a dirtbag.
I worried the dog would miss him and pine for him. But he has not done so at all. I love this little dog so much, I would have lost my mind without him over these last few months. He's lapped up a lake of tears, and listened patiently to every meltdown.
What would we do without our pets??
Follow your heart, but take your brain with you. ~ Alfred Adler
Letting go of the outcome is about the most empowering thing you can do for yourself. ~ LosferWords
Well, I just ordered him some stairs so he could climb back in bed with me (his age is showing with arthritis issues), bought and old beat up comforter that I don't care if it gets destroyed and a waterproof pad to put under his side. As soon as those stairs get here he is going to be sleeping with me in POS's old spot for the rest of his life! The dog is much better company and his last year(s) will be spent sleeping in comfort knowing he is loved. He will be helping me emotionally as well on those sad, lonely nights.
This above all: to thine own self be true, and it must follow, as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man ~ Shakespeare, Hamlet
The other dog had been pretty severely abused as a puppy and then put in the pound for four months. She has issues to begin with. She became hypervigilant and developed some issues with aggression. I'm still trying to work with both dogs.
I really can't understand any of it, but I really can't understand how she could do it to the dogs. The consequences of her actions will probably lower the older one's standard of living for the rest of his life.
When we take them from their flock, WE become their family, their best friends, their extended social net, their everything. Cruel really but I digress.
It happened that this bird was afraid of storms so when heavy weather would come he would call every family member by name (yes, he knew their names and used them), to make sure they were safe - until he either saw they were ok or the rain stopped. These are smart animals.
During the divorce, this bird was absolutely distraught. Unable to cope. He could not find peace to the point he began to self-harm by pulling his feathers out. He almost killed himself.
We are so arrogant in imagining that animals do not have a highly sophisticated emotional life.
You're right, MissMouseMo. They do have complex and sophisticated emotional lives.
And my elderly little pup knew before any of us that he needed to be kicked out of the pack. Tried to warn us with all of the pee. :) He wasn't her daddy anymore.