Yes, it's possible. But you have to have a COMPLETELY remoreseful WS who is also being willingly transparent.
Sounds like you may be missing that ingredient.
[This message edited by sadtoo at 12:08 AM, July 21st (Sunday)]
Considering this is something that he has been doing for a long long time, I think it's important to put protecting yourself first here - both emotionally and physically.
22 years is a lifetime - but YOUR life and the path you choose to take hereafter is your own. I know that even breathing is hard right now, but just take baby steps to get through each day. If he does not express the remorse or work required to be a good partner, you deserve to make the choice as to whether you want to fight for this or not.
The best advice anyone ever gave me is that you don't have to make any big decisions right now. You have time and options. You are strong and intelligent, even if you don't feel like it right now.
Lean on those of us who have been there. You are going to be ok. We're here for you.
[This message edited by Jrazz at 12:26 AM, July 21st (Sunday)]
It's very hard to reconcile without a third party counselor. Is there a clergyperson you could call upon? Maybe a social worker/counselor graduate program in your area offers inexpensive counseling under the supervision of a teacher.
You say that you Have to stay for financial reasons. Have you seen an attorney? Do you in fact know this to be true? If not please go see one. So many people stay in situations like yours because they don't have a good understanding of things, and don't know that there are many ways to work out the financials.
Focus on you, read up on the 180. He is doing nothing to help you, and everything to destroy your M. You need to learn how to protect yourself.
Keep posting, keep asking questions. Know that you are safe here.