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changedforlife posted 7/20/2013 23:45 PM

Hi everyone! I am new to this forum but I fear this may be my new reality.

Are there any posts that would be good for a newbie to read?


caregiver9000 posted 7/21/2013 01:00 AM

I can say welcome. This is a good, strong group of people.

As for threads, if you haven't checked the Healing Library yet, do that for sure.

If you have specific questions, feel free to ask.

No Contact is a pretty good rule of thumb. And protect yourself, financially and emotionally. It is a roller coaster, but there is an end in sight.

Amazonia posted 7/21/2013 05:49 AM

Depending on whether there is abuse in your situation, or if you're going to have to "flee in the night" to get away, there is a good thread down in IT called Lets start a safety thread or something like that.

Vulcanized posted 7/21/2013 13:36 PM


I wish I'd found this on my DD. Sorry that you are here.

ButterflyGirl posted 7/21/2013 14:09 PM

Hello, and welcome. There are some extremely fabulous people here with great advice. They will not only support you, but I've found they will be straightforward and hit you with a gentle 2 x 4 when needed..

Anything that you are struggling with, post it and I'm sure you will receive some great advice.

If you want to rage at your spouse, post it here instead.

My best advice is this. If you truly believe that this is over, there is no need to discuss the infidelity anymore. You don't have to explain again why this is happening. Try to make your communications with him as business like as possible, and pretend you are dealing with an incompetent co-worker. If you find you are playing a blame game, don't play it with him. Take your ball and go home.

DO NOT engage with him about the affair any longer. Kids and finances only!!

Focus on you. Do what is best for you. Big hugs!!

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