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Newest Member: 20yearsplus (61840)

User Topic: In Law Birthday
♀ 37225
Member # 37225
Default  Posted: 10:42 AM, July 21st (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

We have been separated 3 weeks. My Mother in law's birthday is coming up in a few weeks. Do I send a card?

I feel bad ignoring it, however, I haven't heard from her since our separation so I am kind of at a loss on how to proceed. I think she actually will be visiting WH right before her birthday

What did you all do?

Posts: 264 | Registered: Oct 2012
♀ 10866
Member # 10866
Default  Posted: 10:54 AM, July 21st (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Do you have children? If so, I would send a card from them.

It's really up to you how you want to proceed with your mother in law. I am NC with ex's whole family.

DDays 2006, and then numerous more
Divorced 2012

"In life, unlike chess, the game continues after checkmate." - Asimov
"Be patient and tough; someday this pain will be useful to you." - Ovid

Posts: 15607 | Registered: Jun 2006
♀ 32847
Member # 32847
Default  Posted: 10:59 AM, July 21st (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Do you have kids with the guy? If so, I would probably send a card. There's no sense burning that bridge if there is going to have to be contact with mil where the grandkids are concerned. If you don't, and there is not a good relationship with mil (as there doesn't seem to be since she dropped you like a hot potato), I wouldn't *necessarily* sweat the card. I didn't have to deal with that scenario, because my mother in law passed away the day before I actually confirmed the latest affair. But I'm still on good terms with my other in-laws so I imagine I would've been with her too. In fact, my fil just stopped by the house on his way back home to say bye (they had come up for my dd's sweet 16).

Tune out the noise of what others tell you about who you are and work it out for yourself...

Posts: 1650 | Registered: Jul 2011
♀ 27071
Member # 27071
Default  Posted: 10:22 PM, July 21st (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Send the card; sign it yourself. If you have children who can write, or scribble, whatever, let them do it. Take the higher road. If nothing else, it will annoy her and your stbx that you are more kind than they are.

D-Day: 8/28/2009
BW: 59 @ D-Day XH: 60 @ D-Day Married 34 yrs, LIBerated: 2/17/11
Beyond terror is freedom. (Agnes Martin)

Posts: 1242 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: Missouri
♀ 34678
Member # 34678
Default  Posted: 10:36 PM, July 21st (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

For now, keep the lines of communication open if you have children. I wish I would have,,,,

Sometimes He calms the storm. Sometimes He lets the storm rage, but calms His child.
Dday 12/19/11
I gave a 24hour ultimatum then went to attorney next day. Shocked the hell out of him, with D papers, I'm proud to say!
D final10/30/2012

Posts: 4162 | Registered: Jan 2012
♀ 33698
Member # 33698
Default  Posted: 11:55 AM, July 22nd (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I would send one, but if you don't hear anything from her (like for your birthday), then I would take that as her way of telling you that she's gone NC with you.

It also depends on your previous relationship with her. My former in-laws have stayed in contact with me, acknowledged my birthday, etc. They were great to me when I was married, and they continue to be kind to me and to reach out from time to time, so there's no way that I would purposefully cut off that relationship unless they did first or they were being hurtful to me.

FBS; now happily liberated!
Two DS and One DD
It matters not how strait the gate,/How charged with punishments the scroll./I am the master of my fate:/I am the captain of my soul.--"Invictus," William Ernest Henley

Posts: 4079 | Registered: Oct 2011
Topic Posts: 6

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