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In Law Birthday

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stungbytravel posted 7/21/2013 10:42 AM

We have been separated 3 weeks. My Mother in law's birthday is coming up in a few weeks. Do I send a card?

I feel bad ignoring it, however, I haven't heard from her since our separation so I am kind of at a loss on how to proceed. I think she actually will be visiting WH right before her birthday

What did you all do?

hurtbs posted 7/21/2013 10:54 AM

Do you have children? If so, I would send a card from them.

It's really up to you how you want to proceed with your mother in law. I am NC with ex's whole family.

LadyQ posted 7/21/2013 10:59 AM

Do you have kids with the guy? If so, I would probably send a card. There's no sense burning that bridge if there is going to have to be contact with mil where the grandkids are concerned. If you don't, and there is not a good relationship with mil (as there doesn't seem to be since she dropped you like a hot potato), I wouldn't *necessarily* sweat the card. I didn't have to deal with that scenario, because my mother in law passed away the day before I actually confirmed the latest affair. But I'm still on good terms with my other in-laws so I imagine I would've been with her too. In fact, my fil just stopped by the house on his way back home to say bye (they had come up for my dd's sweet 16).

LifeIsBroken posted 7/21/2013 22:22 PM

Send the card; sign it yourself. If you have children who can write, or scribble, whatever, let them do it. Take the higher road. If nothing else, it will annoy her and your stbx that you are more kind than they are.

homewrecked2011 posted 7/21/2013 22:36 PM

For now, keep the lines of communication open if you have children. I wish I would have,,,,

tryingagain74 posted 7/22/2013 11:55 AM

I would send one, but if you don't hear anything from her (like for your birthday), then I would take that as her way of telling you that she's gone NC with you.

It also depends on your previous relationship with her. My former in-laws have stayed in contact with me, acknowledged my birthday, etc. They were great to me when I was married, and they continue to be kind to me and to reach out from time to time, so there's no way that I would purposefully cut off that relationship unless they did first or they were being hurtful to me.

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