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Newest Member: Wontbebitter (61828)

User Topic: Excessive housework
♂ 39861
Member # 39861
Stop  Posted: 12:58 PM, July 21st (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Have a question to pose to the group. I'm the WS (the husband) and D-Day was one week ago. The anguish has been crushing.

I find myself wanting "to do something". Obviously other than being supportive and trying to be a "friend" to my poor wife, I've been doing housework. Perhaps even excessive housework. To my kids it looks blatantly like I'm trying to curry favor, and of course any amount cannot make up for cheating, but it is the only thing I can do right now to show my love for my family, including my wife.

Thoughts from the group? Should I cool it a little?

I am a rebuilding man - a work in progress

Posts: 5 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: Stow
♂ 26859
Member # 26859
Default  Posted: 1:09 PM, July 21st (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I would say keep doing it. Nothing wrong with cleaning, even if it is out of guilt or from a lack of knowing anythong else to do...

It already sounds like you realize it, but don't expect anything to mak a difference to your BW for a while. Long term actions over time will be what makes the difference. Anything you can do to reduce the pressure of everyday living at this point should be helpful.

WH - 46 (crap...)
BW - gerrygirl

Posts: 6114 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: Tri-Cities
♀ 36853
Member # 36853
Default  Posted: 5:09 PM, July 21st (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I think anything you can do to help out is a good idea.

Take your cues from your BW.

You could also get started on some reading to help you and your BW get through this mess.

fWW 40s, BH 40s
D-day 27 Aug 2012. Kids 25, 17, 13. 2 dogs.

I edit often to fix stuff ☺️

Profoundly grateful Every. Single. Day. that I am blessed with an H with strength, integrity, and compassion, and that he decided to try.

Posts: 1814 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: Deep South, USA
♂ 37328
Member # 37328
Default  Posted: 7:35 PM, July 22nd (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

If you haven't read the book the five love languages I highly recommend it. It will help you learn what your BS need to feel loved and how they show their love. Right not you may just be speaking the acts of service. There is acts of service, words of affirmation, physical touch, quality time, and gifts. Learn how your BS wants to be shown love and how they show their love and then things start to become easier

WS (Me): 26 y/o
BS (Her): 26 y/o (MandoBando)
Relationship: M for 4 years, a 20 month old son and a 8 month old son.
D-Day: 10/23/12
Working towards R...

Despite the fact that i am an ass hole, horrible father, and horrible husband; i LOVE and

Posts: 76 | Registered: Oct 2012 | From: Toledo, OH
Topic Posts: 4

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