First of all, STBX is constantly throwing around accusations about my mental health. I'm not even depressed, according to my therapist, who dx me with adjustment disorder, which basically means, "this situation sucks ass, I need support, and the insurance company requires a diagnosis in order to pay for treatment" lol. However, STBX and his LCSW psycho girlfriend have apparently diagnosed me with a personality disorder and depression. I'm not afraid of this AT ALL, because the judge doesn't care about whatever dumb shit he wants to say about my mental health, with no proof to back it up.
However, my lawyers and I have tossed around the idea of having everyone go through a psych eval, just to prevent any planting of any seeds. The problem I see with that is that STBX just lies, so would it really tell us anything useful? Is there any point in that? This is where we've always gotten hung up in the past.
What do you guys think, and how exactly does it work? Do they talk to us about each other, or do we only answer their questions about ourselves?
[This message edited by Coraline at 9:55 PM, July 21st (Sunday)]
#1 Psych evaluation/custody evaluator: everyone gets thoroughly evaluated (adults and children).
#2 It's hella expensive
#3 An excellent psychiatrist will do a forensic psychological "autopsy" (for lack of a better word).
The one that is here is highly highly recommended.
You will not have anything to worry about. If anything, they may be able to give you ideas on parenting issues. They may uncover some sensitive issues within yourself but that would be for your personal insight.
They don't talk to each other about the other. It's a lot of testing and then interviews with the doctor.
I don't think your stbx would request it because the kids have been in your care primarily.
I would have done it had my stbx had not changed his mind (he initially wanted it) but I would not have asked for it because I didn't want to put my kids through testing, meeting a new psychiatrist and the cost. My stbx also lies all the time so I was wondering the same thing. But according to a psychologist who trained under the top person in the state, he can see bullshit liars.
Take care, dmari
Now, I don't know if they're completely refusing to order them, or only if they're refusing it when one party is asking for the other to pay for all or a portion of one, because it doesn't make sense to me that they'd say you *can't* do one at all, if you're willing to cover the entire expense yourself. I mean, right? I will ask my atty tomorrow, but I've been pondering things today. I also don't know if I need one at all, given that the judge was pretty clear that me getting physical custody was a given. There are some particular topics I would really like someone to look into though, so that might be a good reason to have a CE.
The psych eval though....my husband is not like yours, NG, so I wonder if he could just lie about me and lie about himself, and come out looking golden and making me look worse by lying the whole time. My STBX is not like yours. Yours seriously has to be in the record books. It seems like it would be hard to hide your husband's craziness.
We cross-posted dmari. :) The law JUST changed.
[This message edited by Coraline at 1:39 AM, July 22nd (Monday)]
I'm relieved that my cowardly stbx changed his mind. Now that it is on court record that he rescinded, if he tries for custody only just to lower child support, the court will clearly see he had his chance for custody but changed his mind.
Good luck tomorrow and keep us update if you can. I'm curious to what your attorney will say and the reasoning. Take care!
And there's no way OW, as a social worker, would qualify as an expert to discuss your alleged "personality disorder" with anyone whose opinion matters.
Okay, so back to psych evals. Is there really any point in bothering with one? I mean, I've been on AD's, but the last time was ten years ago, and I'm pretty sure no one would care even if I was on them now, right? I've never needed anti-anxiety meds, never been suicidal in my life, never had trouble getting out of bed or taking care of the kids, etc. So is there any reason to do one?
If stbx brings it up, your attorney can state that it would be in the best interest for both parties to get one done.
Marriages that start this way, stepping over the bodies of loved ones as the giddy couple walks down the aisle, are not likely to last.