It's good that you realize this dynamic. Shirley Glass in "Not Just Friends" reports that the partner that puts the most into the relationship is the one who is less likely to cheat. Consider that you are actually helping your husband and your M by letting him give to you and the family.
I actually put up with this for 28 years, so you are ahead of me! I have to remind myself to let my H do for me and the house, etc. He offers all the time now, or just does things, but occasionally I ask him to do something and so far he is happy to do so. Although this weekend when I asked him to help me weed he balked (he has never weeded once). However he was willing to spray the weed killer and pick up the weeds that I had pulled. So it was about finding a job that fit him.
I actually think it becomes easier to be unselfish and giving after awhile. And you are worth it!