"You can survive this. Talk to others that have"

MissesJai posted 7/22/2013 12:19 PM

about your relationship?

I posed this question to INAB last night and here's what he said (and I totally agree):

*honesty
*we make our relationship a priority
*we enjoy each others' company
*we COMMUNICATE - openly and honestly
*we have a true partnership - he has my back and I have his. We are a TEAM
* and most importantly - RESPECT

I was at a loss for words. I cried - tears of joy. We have both worked so very hard to get to this point so hearing him say that to me was like a melody from heaven.

So, SI family, what exists now that didn't before? what's the best thing about your relationship? Clearly, you don't have to limit it to one thing - as you can see by my post PLEASE KEEP IT POSITIVE!!!!

DixieD posted 7/22/2013 12:32 PM

Exactly what you said MJ!

I'll add appreciation, dedication, determination.

My husband and I thanked each other more than once yesterday for the wonderful weekend we both had. We love going to bed with a smile on our faces.

Thanks for starting a positive post

MissesJai posted 7/22/2013 12:44 PM

Oh I love yours, Dixie.

forgivingnow posted 7/22/2013 19:18 PM

I loved this. You should put this in the positive R story thread at the top. It must feel good to believe those words.

SorrowBhindSmile posted 7/22/2013 19:39 PM

What a great post!! We are still early in the process...but....

what all you guys said.....plus....

*my WH has found a dedication to our marriage and family that is so much deeper than before.
*I feel as tho my WH and i really HEAR each other when we talk now. Our communication skills have improved tremendously.
*my WH and i have also gotten in the habit of thanking eachother for random acts of kindness....the very BESTEST part....it that has rubbed off on our children and they have started doing it!!!!!!

struggling3 posted 7/22/2013 19:47 PM

We love each other so deeply

We have a ton of fun together...and are always looking for new things to do/try.

We leave each other love notes on our whiteboard regularly

We make our relationship a priority over everything...even parenting. Our kids are all adults and we have always had this mentality...they all turned out really well btw

We still have absolutely amazing sex...often...lol

We are both still really attracted to each other

Since this little bump in our road, we appreciate what we have now more than ever.

I could go on but the bottom line is that it's really good and we are healing nicely from this. Slow and steady.

BeyondBreaking posted 7/22/2013 21:17 PM

Hmmm...

He is very patient with me.

No matter how many tantrums I throw, no matter how stressed out I get, no matter how much I scream and yell and stress the little things...he is patient with me and he forgives me.

LA44 posted 7/22/2013 22:04 PM

What a great post MJ! Thanks for starting it.

We are putting our M first!

Checking in + Reaching out,

Fall asleep holding hands

Connecting feels great AND our kids are happier bc of it.

LA

CatchyUsername posted 7/23/2013 05:50 AM

The best thing about our relationship (3 months since DDay) is that we are both trying so hard. WH has been amazing. As soon as he sees my face change when I start thinking about the A he jumps right into support more. We have amazing sex - when it happens - we both still REALLY want that connection - and when I stop/block sex it is never because of how I feel about him - rather just feeling the A.

Hrtbrken1 posted 7/23/2013 07:32 AM

We talk about our feelings
Deeper intimacy with each other
Gratefulness for the little things in life
Respect for each other
FWH likes to say "We're a team!" now. That makes me feel so good to hear
I love seeing the pure joy on his face when he comes home to his family

Hrtbrken1 posted 7/23/2013 07:33 AM

And I forgot the best thing:

He tries every day to make me feel loved and special!

Althea posted 7/23/2013 09:19 AM

When I agreed to R, I said it would only be if I could have the husband of my dreams, and he tries every day to be that man. It isn't perfect, but SO much better than what I had settled for before. I have a good marriage with emotional intimacy. I never realized before all of this how much was lacking in our relationship.

We have both worked and continue to work tirelessly to heal the damaged parts of ourselves and we are reaping the benefits of that.

Last night he told me he wants to post a reminder for himself to do something special for me and our kids every day something out of the ordinary to show us how much he loves us. I like this guy, and I'm finally starting to believe that he is around to stay

MissesJai posted 7/23/2013 10:13 AM

YAYAYAYAY!! I leave and come back with all these posts. Love it! Keep 'em coming all.

ETA: I definitely see a positive change in our kids as well. We are loving and in turn, they have become more affectionate and loving towards each other and towards us.

[This message edited by MissesJai at 10:15 AM, July 23rd (Tuesday)]

confused615 posted 7/23/2013 10:36 AM

The best thing?

He is trying.

And I am letting him. lol

And I am accepting his words of love, and his compliments without sarcasm and disbelief.

I am trying to adjust to this new husband..he has become so attentive,affectionate,helpful,and is truly making a solid effort. I do believe he loves me,and wants this marriage. I believe it..I just need to trust it.

MissesJai posted 7/23/2013 10:47 AM

I just need to trust it.

and that is going to take TIME. Which you are well aware of, confused I'm glad he's not just trying, but doing and that you are accepting of his actions. That's huge for you both.