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Why do I get the OW rabbit hole urge when I'm anxious?

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JanaGreen posted 7/22/2013 12:47 PM

I'm writing this to keep from googling an OW because I know it will make me feel like shit if I do. Everything's fine with my H and me. I'm anxious about work stuff, insurance, the house we're building, money. Not my marriage, nothing to do with this random chick. So why am I fighting to urge to google her? Am I nuts?

ItsaClimb posted 7/22/2013 13:15 PM

You're not nuts, well if you are then I am too!

I think it's about vulnerability... the minute I am anxious about anything at all, it seems to magnify my other vulnerabilities. I get anxious about...whatever... makes me feel sort of vulnerable and needy, that gets me obsessing about the A, that gets me obsessing about OW... and there we go! I also think that "researching" the OW gives me a feeling of some sort of control - I know it's NOT the case (I have no control over anything A related I get that), but that's the way it feels.

JanaGreen posted 7/22/2013 13:29 PM

Thank you ItsaClimb - I just got a bunch of work dropped on my desk, so that should keep me busy. Urge is passing - it's so self-defeating, ugh!

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