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Newest Member: Shattered31 (45724)

User Topic: Tired (a mild rant)
Coma
♂ 29353
Member # 29353
Default  Posted: 1:45 PM, July 22nd (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

FWW said to me that she fears that i will never get over her indiscretion despite my efforts to be supportive. I just want to say that she is 100% correct! I will never get over it on certain levels but i won't let it dictate my future either. See the problem has always been the sane for the BS. Even more so than the A's is the insensitive ability to lie to your heartbeat. This is just my description of the love between two people. IMO you share the same heartbeat. It's noted inthe small things like keeping steps in time without realizing it. It's sticking your hand out and knowing your S/O hand will mneet yours without looking.

Yes, i am a bit of a romantic i guess but i never saw that as a negative until her A. I am sympathetic to the turmoil and hurt of a WS but not for the A but for the anquish that i know the truly repentant ones must also endure. However, there is a place i draw the line here. Being sympathetic to your suffering and acknowledging that that suffering was of your own making are two different things.

So let me be clear on this for all truly repentant WS's. I am sorry for the pain you brought upon yourself because in the long run you let yourself down. Speaking as a BS that is still very much in love with his S/O i hope that i can at times that you need help to soothe your troubled soul and ego over what you brought upon us. Understand that your pain is mirrored by my own.

Understand that i don't want to throw things in your face nor blame myself for your actions. I just want to acknowledge that we both are still in it at the end of the day. As a BS their is always one question that goes through ny head fron tine to time. Did i do the right thing in staying or would you be happier out there where you wandered?

The staying was my choice and i won't regret it unless i discover i stood in the way of your happiness.

Does anyone understand this?


BS-Me
WW-Her
"Love, look what you've done to me"

Posts: 460 | Registered: Aug 2010
jjsr
♀ 34353
Member # 34353
Default  Posted: 3:10 PM, July 22nd (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I get it, I really do. We are almost 2 yrs out and I still can not get over how he lied to me and just threw away our marriage, me for his EA which for me is worse then his ONS because after his EA his feelings for me changed for a long time. We are trying to move past it, and I wonder how do I live with someone and love them after this?
I know he is in pain for what he has brought to me and to our marriage but it can never compare to the pain he has CAUSED. I want to put the pain down so we can move forward, I am just not sure how to do that. I need to though in order to stay in the marriage. Its very difficult


Me: BS
Him: WS
Married since 1985
Parents to 2 adult sons and 3 of the cutest cats you have ever seen
D-day 8/6/11 Truth about ONS and 9/21/11 Truth about EA
Trying to reconcile

Posts: 1659 | Registered: Dec 2011 | From: midwest now.
Coma
♂ 29353
Member # 29353
Default  Posted: 7:53 PM, July 25th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I know he is in pain for what he has brought to me and to our marriage but it can never compare to the pain he has CAUSED. I want to put the pain down so we can move forward, I am just not sure how to do that. I need to though in order to stay in the marriage. Its very difficult

I agree with you strongly jjsr. Ihas been quite a while since FWW indiscretions and there are times she still tries to blame it happening on me.


BS-Me
WW-Her
"Love, look what you've done to me"

Posts: 460 | Registered: Aug 2010
Topic Posts: 3

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