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Doing 180 but so freakin hard!

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Pringle posted 7/22/2013 15:55 PM

So I thought I would type here to resist the temptation of asking 100 questions, showing I care and just bursting into tears in front of the moron.I am so tempted to ask if he still contacts her and just grab his phone and go through it. Was doing so well today with it but now I feel like crumbling and just begging him to change and be the man I once fell inlove with. My heart is aching and i just feel like I cannot do this anymore. Sorry, Im going to vent, its my only way to get it out without turning back on the 180. I hate him for what hes done, i especially hate her for what she has done! We had a beautiful future and wedding planned and now nothing...absolutely nothing. I F##$ken hate this situation. I hate him for bringing me to a new country where i have no one and being frightened of how I will make it in this place without him. I hate him for taking me out of my comfort Zone in my home country. I am alone and scared and do not know what the future will hold. Bastard!!!Stupid f##ken bastard! if she was in front of me now I would absolutely scratch her eyes out! good news is that i saw a proper picture of her today and she is horrendous! why throw away a happy home, furry family, bright future for a haggard bitch that looks like a bus has ridden over her a thousand times and the only thing left upright are her ridiculous fake breasts!! i have never hated someone as much as I hate her! and the worst part is she is sitting there smiling, knowing shes had him(or has, I will never know) and Im the sad misery that has lost everything Why? I ask myself 100 times why did I have to land up like this??Why are there such desperate whores in this world that dont know how to keep their legs closed??? why are there so many bastards that dont know a good thing at home even if it did side way cartwheels in front of them???FML!

soveryweary posted 7/22/2013 16:46 PM

I wish I had words to help.
You've been heard.

laney57 posted 7/23/2013 04:34 AM

We know and understand... Hugs to youw

Violetta posted 7/23/2013 10:15 AM

Oh, honey, I know.

My WH is ready to throw it all away for a woman who, while attractive, can't tell the truth to save her life and clearly has no compunction about breaking up a marriage of 10 years and three kids.

Like someone told me in another thread, it's like it's not even him it's like an alien wearing the body of your partner.

I so desperately wish there was someway we could just force them to open their eyes and see what they were doing. Keep doing the 180, though. While I don't know if it had much of an effect on my WH, it's certainly given me a lot more confidence and a better attitude. Are there any local activities you can get involved in? Sports? Book clubs?

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