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Topic: Dday <4 wks ago & headed for divorce

tennispro
♀ 39728
Member # 39728

Posted: 9:17 PM, July 22nd (Monday), 2013

He didn't even fight for me or the marriage or the family. We've been together for 16 yrs and married for 11yrs. I don't even want him back but, my god, he didn't even fight for us!!! That almost hurts worse than the A. He won't end up with the OW because she lives in Asia and she's married and she won't leave her family. She's just an ego boost for him. Wo knows. I mean, I realize our marriage was not the best but now I feel worse than I did before. I had hope (before the A) that we could work on our issues. He does drink too much and I'm not into drinking at all. That was a big problem.
That's my latest. Headed for divorce.

Me: BS 44yo
Him: WS 42yo
Married 11yrs; together 16yr
Kids: 8yo and 3yo
Dday: June 26, 2013
Dday #2: July 22, 2013 - found out same woman and been going on since Dec 2012.
Starting the divorce process. Listing our home. Scared but hopeful.

Posts: 40 | Registered: Jul 2013

nomistakeaboutit
♂ 36857
Member # 36857

Posted: 11:15 PM, July 22nd (Monday), 2013

Hi Tennis Pro,

Sorry for your pain. I can relate. The A is one thing, but a lack of remorse and an easy willingness (or even a thinly veiled eagerness) to end the marriage....it's just soul crushing.

I have tried hard to understand it. The closest I have come, so far, is to accept that my xWW was not the person I thought she was, and she didn't love me in the same way I loved her.

Strength to you.

Me: BH 58.........Her: WW 45
DD: 8..........DS: 5
Married for six years.
DDay: 12-25-11 Divorced: 7-15-12
...................................
"It's like a nightmare within a nightmare, which in and of itself is a nightmare!"

Posts: 1052 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: U.S.A.

Jrazz
♀ 31349
Member # 31349

Posted: 1:23 AM, July 23rd (Tuesday), 2013

I'm so sorry, tennispro.

His lack of fighting isn't a reflection on you, it's all on him.

(((tp)))

"All the wars, all the hatred, all the ignorance in the world come out of being so invested in our opinions. And at bottom, those opinions are merely our efforts to escape the underlying uneasiness of being human. - Pema Chodron

Posts: 20825 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: California

Topic Posts: 3

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