I have been trying to get a divorce from a diagnosed p/a(2008), with very strong npd traits, he probably is npd, just never had the testing done to see what cluster he fits in,
We own a house together, that cannot be sold because the dumbass cut out a piece of roof truss,he did this about 6 months before he left,shortly after his diagnosis, no one can get a mortgage so for anyone to buy it they have to have cash, with what is owed on the mortgage and the repairs that need to be done puts the value above what the market says it is worth. Dumbass was ordered in February to get my name off the mortgage and the deed, his lawyer in March lied and said they were waiting for the documents, in April dumbass lied and said that the bank wouldn't give him a mortgage because of the economy, in May he admitted that there was never any contact made with the bank to have my name removed.
At the end of August the house repairs are supposed to be completed and pass an inspection, he has done nothing, so by the end of August he will be in contempt of court for the 5th time. Contempt is a hard charge to bring forward in divorce cases in Canada, it can be done but it is very costly
We had the house appraised in 2007, the appraisal came back lower then market value, structural damage was done after appraisal, because there is no job completed properly,many jobs half done, example put in new shower stall in 2005, it leaked from day 1 because dumbass didn't make sure the floor was level,cut into the top of a brand new jacuzzi tub , put the wrong taps in, takes 45 minutes to fill a 1 person tub, put laminate flooring in on top of an old warped floor, work done on house without building permits, on a little funny he had a melt down when the appraiser was here in 2007, the appraiser kept pointing out all the issues, dumbass couldn't handle it, had a melt down, other things wouldn't pay the taxes so the town levied $17,000.00 against the mortgage, making monthly payments go up to almost $1900.00, the bathroom is full of black mold, infact if you don't pour bleach around the base of the shower stall on a weekly basis, fungus actually grows, like those things you see growing on rotting trees. Dumbass moved thousands of miles away, and I am the one left with house and all it's issues, dumbass acts like it is a great favor to me that I get to live in the rotting house
In May I was awarded spousal support, half of my support is going to pay for the mortgage, so it makes it so I can't even afford to move
I have never received the proper child support which is off the books now because both my kids have graduated college, he only has paid a portion of the youngest ones tuition after he found out she was receiving EMDR therapy
We have been in court many times, everytime I win, but the problem is that he doesn't follow the court orders, in May I got the order to have his wages garnished, but now he is quitting his job, to start his own business, he actually had the nerve to ask the oldest child who majored in business for help, which the oldest ignored, neither kid wants anything to do with him because of past abuse, not physical, just emotional verbal, and of course dumbass always put himself and others ahead of me and his kids, in 2005 his kids begged him to get counselling, he wouldn't
I need help, with how to get him to do what is right, this divorce has been drug out for 4 years, there is 10's of thousands owed in back support, I can't afford to do the repairs, firstly because I don't receive the proper support, secondly I can't do some of them myself because of a disability
To top things off he has been with several different people in the last 4 years, and he gets them to harass me, that pisses me off, not one of these people have even met me, nor seen a picture of me, the latest one refers to me as a trophy wife, because I'm better looking then her, and repeatedly says that her "hubby" doesn't want to divorce me, he says she is an alcoholic junkie,
How do you get these personality disorders to do what is right, I'm held hostage because of him, unable to start my new life
Any ideas will be greatly appreciated, I know some of you wise people have been through this yourselves,