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Newest Member: Else (61873)

User Topic: Love marriage counselor's technique
♀ 39667
Member # 39667
Default  Posted: 8:17 AM, July 23rd (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

In yesterday's session, we were talking about something I am asking SAWH to do (ask his company to cut off a relationship with the OW - she has a small role promoting the company). SAWH is concerned about more people finding out about the A (his superior at the company knows her boss - they work for 2 different companies, just to clarify). The MC said that from what she understands, if H goes to his superior in confidence, the superior can't tell anyone. The MC asked me if I want this for revenge purposes. I said no, I want it because of no contact/cutting all ties to this person. She already got paid for this thing she did, the company just still has it in use, so it's not like she'll lose income.

Anyway, at one point in the discussion I expressed that I don't wish any ill will towards the OW, that if I had wanted revenge I would have already sought it. And then we talked about how over the weekend H finally fessed up about how he met OW and how all of it still makes me physically ill because I can't understand how a grown woman would pursue a married man with kids (and yes, obviously, H is the person who is to blame for succumbing to this). I talked about how I used to work with mostly married men and I would hang out with them but NEVER crossed the line. Therapist says "Yes, but you are healthy. This OW has something terribly wrong with her. She's got an illness." MC just has this way of artfully, but gently, reminding my H about how unhealthy his involvement with this person was on so many levels. Deceiving everyone (me, her work, his work), secret life, impact on the quality of his work and his health, etc. I love it because obviously, it is what I am thinking but if I say puts him on the defense.

BS - mid-40's
SAWH - mid 40's
Kids - 2 elementary school aged
Getting tons of therapy and trying to "work it out"

Posts: 932 | Registered: Jun 2013
♀ 31528
Member # 31528
Default  Posted: 10:43 AM, July 23rd (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

She sounds like an amazing counselor. I'm glad you have found her.

Posts: 50946 | Registered: Mar 2011
♀ 38349
Member # 38349
Default  Posted: 11:00 AM, July 23rd (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks so much for posting that! I needed to see that!

BS(me)38 WH(him)38
D-Day 12/1/12
Together 15, married 11
Trying to R

Posts: 28 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: WI
Topic Posts: 3

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