I don't know how to go back and look at previous posts and such.
But I understand the feeling that you can't wrap your brain around it enough to feel confident in your decision making abilities. Compound that with the fact that you are already questioning your judgement ...well, it gets really hard to get unstuck.
I couldn't get unstuck until I started posting here and going to IC a year after Dday.
Did that last year in limbo ruin my life? NO
Did that last year in limbo retard my happiness? You betcha.
Do I regret it? eh, it was a learning experience.
I DO feel bad at the waste of a years happiness with my son and wonder what I put him through that he won't say.
Am I unstuck totally now with full confidence? Hell no but I'm more focused on ME, what I want.
My IC's best weapon in my anti-decisive mode = "and that is ok with you"? especially when she knew the answer was "no or I wouldn't BE here".
If it is not ok, what are you going to do about it?
Does it have to be done this minute??? no.
Think, reflect, converse with someone wise and/or impartial. It is wonderfully reaffirming.
And not just about infidelity! I really had a miserable professor for a class and felt like I couldn't handle it, thought I was a total wimp, wth is WRONG with me.....
guess what? Nothing. When we talked about it she was like blech and she told me about ratemyprofessors.com and there were TONS of people who felt the same as me on there!
Sometimes just feeling too lonely, having no validation for too long, questioning your SELF instead of trusting and respecting yourself, your gut...its bad. Its a bad habit that is hard to break.
I hope you get things sorted out soon so you can start to work on feeling better.
Hug your DD. She's always had you, make sure she gets the best you and maybe she'll see that is all she needs.