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FogHater (original poster member #33156) posted at 4:58 PM on Tuesday, July 23rd, 2013
They know what he's done and is doing...
I need to tell them I filed for divorce.
I don't want to hurt them I didn't create this mess...
Over the last 26 yrs they have treated me like they're daughter....
The truth is always good but how much do I tell them...
Any advice would be good...
I have tried for 3 yrs...
Nothing is better..he doesn't want to change so I can't stay.
[This message edited by FogHater at 10:59 AM, July 23rd (Tuesday)]
I don't know what I'm doing
but I know what I'm not doing
devistatedmom ( member #24961) posted at 5:24 PM on Tuesday, July 23rd, 2013
If they already know what he has done, then you don't need to tell them anything about the whys. If you really feel you want to tell them, just tell them you love them, but you have filed because you can't keep living with him the way things are.
You have to remember he is still their son, and they love him, even if they love you too.
My xh's parents still call me, check in with me, tell me they love me and want to see me. They have accepted him and his new life too because he's their son. Our relationship is different now. I'm glad they still love me, and I them, but it's not the same. It can't be. Just be ready for their reaction.
BS(me) 46, Two wonderful teens.
He is no longer my best friend. Repeat until it sticks.
WH says marriage is over: May 15, 2009.
EA#2 July 20, 2009. Legally sep: Aug 16, 2009. DIVORCED!!!! Signed Nov 23, final Dec 24, 2010, adultery listed.
5454real ( member #37455) posted at 5:31 PM on Tuesday, July 23rd, 2013
It was one of the hardest conversations I had ever had. They were in total agreement that her actions were wrong and I was the injured party. Total support for what I did after all the facts were laid on the table.
However, I went in with the expectation that blood always wins. At the end of the day, the could disagree with her actions all the wanted, but she was still their daughter. While they didn't support her decisions, they still supported her. KWIM? 
BH 58, WW 49
DS 31(Mine),SD 29,SS 28(Hers),DS 16 Ours, DGS 11, DGD 8, DGS 3
D=Day #1 5/04EA (Rugswept)
D-Day #2 3/10/12, TT til 3/13/12
Married 13yrs
"I have no love for a friend who loves in words alone."
― Sophocle
Williesmom ( member #22870) posted at 1:55 AM on Wednesday, July 24th, 2013
I went to my IL's house and told them why I was divorcing him. They knew that he had an A, but didn't really know any more than that.
They were supportive of me, bu he is their son. I was with him for 26 years. When I see them now, they aren't overwhelmingly friendly, but they aren't rude.
He never spoke to my family after I filed for D. He is dead to them.
You can stuff your sorries in a sack, mister. -George Costanza
There is a special place in hell for women who don't help other women. - Madeleine Albright
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