WH and I can absolutely make our marriage deep, meaningful, and even magical. We don't need to believe that we're the only match for each other out of the 100 billion people who have ever lived.
I don't think that we were cosmically destined to be together, but I do feel lucky that we met. We're not "soul mates", but we are as compatible as two people can be and that's way better since it leads to a choice for life-long passion and friendship.
What irks me is people like my x in law- she is on her third 'soul mate'... essentially she is in it for the high of the first tow years and when the going gets tough she walks out for another "high"....
So I guess I don't believe in soul mates... but then I'm jaded now...
D-Day, June 10, 2012
What about our choice? If there is just one person that is supposedly made for us, where is the choice? It goes along with fate and destiny. Supposedly, we are supposed to have free will. However, if everything is planned out for us and we have an assigned soulmate, we don't have free will. We are all puppets on a string in a stupid puppet show for some greater powers amusement?
Don't believe in soulmates, destiny, fate, "everything happens for a reason" and other such sentiments.
I do believe in for every action there is a reaction. I believe in coincidence, but not too many coincidences.
[This message edited by SisterMilkshake at 2:17 PM, July 23rd (Tuesday)]
"Oh, why do my actions have consequences?" ~ Homer Simpson
"She knew my one weakness: That I'm weak." ~ Homer Simpson
exSAWH, however, seemed to believe every woman he dated was his soul mate after 4 hours. So many of his exGF's were his 'soul-mate' (including when he was OM to a MOW), XSOW #1 and #2 (he was engaged to #2 in a few weeks). I think at one point I was his soul-mate... So by his definition, they're a dime a dozen. makes it seem less special
[This message edited by hurtbs at 2:21 PM, July 23rd (Tuesday)]
"In life, unlike chess, the game continues after checkmate." - Asimov
"Be patient and tough; someday this pain will be useful to you." - Ovid
Even before this whole A, I didn't believe any of that.
I have to agree with the idea of love being a choice. In the early stages of a relationship of course there are stomach flutters and excitement and newness and all that. Eventually every relationship faces the real true challenge. Which is the day it becomes a conscious choice to be with that person.
I reached that phase over 10 years ago.
WH is still in la la land, where he wants to feel "in love" every single day. He expects it even from a long term marriage he said.