Ok, WH recently informed me that from day 1, he has been lying to OW. He told her he was divorcing and wasn't even living with me. (truth is we were living a normal married life under the same roof when he started seeing her)
He said he lied to her about anything and everything. His values, beliefs, living arrangements, our relationship, who he was as a person...I mean, personally I can't form any kind of bond or attachment to someone I'm lying to so badly.
I know that its another subjective belief. People can feel attracted to those they aren't being honest to, and feel they are forming an honest close bond to this person, despite the lies.
I would have to ask myself though, what am I basing that attachment on? To me, a deep connection develops from sharing with someone, sharing your thoughts, your beliefs, your dreams, being forthright with who you are, what you want,and what your values are.
If I felt a connection after lying so much to someone, I would have to question my own ability to be truly intimate with people. I wouldn't even recognize my connections are shallow no doubt.
Not trying to discredit their "connection" or anything but honestly the drama is so ridiculous. I mean, WH was telling her they were going to run off, get married, have a kid....and he was living with me! I didn't even know he was seeing someone else.
All old news.
In our case anyway, it really was textbook Fog, Fantasy, and Soulmate connection.