I heard some really crazy news recently.
I still have professional relationships with many of my former bosses and colleagues, because, hey don't burn bridges right?
Well, one in particular that I communicate with frequently - his ex-wife just committed suicide.
This woman also helped raise his 14 year old daughter, they are both very deeply hurt.
Here's what really makes my stomach churn. It is very, very clear, that he was cheating on her during their marriage, and ended up leaving her, almost 2 years ago, for a woman half his age that he worked with (VERY similar to what my fXH did and for many of you as well I'm sure).
Soon after he 'left her' or it was official, the twat was posting pics of them together, super happy and lovely dovey on facebook, with the daughter that she helped raise, in the house that was once hers.
Now, I know that we never know the circumstances of ones grief that leads to suicide and it's never smart to place blame, but I know what her pain was. I can only imagine how dark her days felt and it's my personal feeling, she just couldn't get out of that dark place.
I know my former boss is wrecked with guilt and in a way, the enormity of his actions are now more real to him then ever before. I dont know whether to feel sorry for him, or just rage.
It's just so sad all the way around. I also see, that at times even though I feel bad, just how much better off I am now and how awful things could have turned out had I not worked very very hard to overcome everything. It's a harsh reminder of the pain and what could've been. It could've literally destroyed me. There was a time when I thought it would kill me, and it breaks my heart to know that someone just couldn't get out of that awful place and to think there was no way out.
For anyone that still struggles, please know that there is hope. Read the stories of those that have pulled through and are now on the other side. Just because it's dark now, doesn't mean the tunnel doesn't end. There is always help, there is always hope, and it does get better.
And also, lots of love for all of you for pulling through the pain. Sometimes we don't know how brave we are. Let this be a reminder.