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Making the decision

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Etexas posted 7/23/2013 16:00 PM

It has been awhile since I have been on here. Loss of computer access and in some ways it triggered me to be on here. September will be 3 years since I found out. I can't believe how the time has flown. I have done the counseling and tried to make it work. I still struggle with it. Mind movies and thoughts kill me. I have been real distanc since about February of the year. We dont say "I love you" or have any interactions. Any interactions are usually about the kids. I know I need to make a decision and move on. I know lots of people go through this with kids and finances. It is still hard to think about how huge a decision this is. I know the kids will be ok. It will be hard not to get to see them everyday but they will adjust. I know I will be broke for a little bit but it is just money. I want to sit down with her instead of just going to a lawyer and serving her out of the blue. I guess I am just scared of the unknown. I know she knows how unhappy I am it has to be miserable for her. WHY AM I WAITING?

Nature_Girl posted 7/23/2013 16:23 PM

There are divorce mediators who will sit down with you & help you sort it out. Maybe that's the route you should take?

nowiknow23 posted 7/23/2013 16:29 PM

Etexas - Because it's a big step. Huge, actually. And there's a metric ton of unknowns when you are first contemplating it. Knowledge is power. It is entirely doable when you understand the process and break it down step by step.

If you are certain, take the first tiny step - research mediators in your area. Or read up on the D process in your state. Do something - anything - that moves you even an inch forward.

Etexas posted 7/23/2013 16:32 PM

Everything will be agreed on. We seperated last year and just about to D before we tried one more time. I have attorney that is ready to file for me. I have researched every detail and ready. Just have to do it with her first.

laney57 posted 7/23/2013 16:34 PM

Etexas,
Because this stinks! I'm in the same boat, but have only been like this for 5 months. In-house separation is brutal and cruel.

It is time to make a decision for myself. Maybe you too.
Hugs to you!

Etexas posted 7/23/2013 16:48 PM

laney: Very cruel. Why am I doing this to myself. Believe me, I know it is over. Is it the kids, money, unknown or all the above. I am miserable. I dont sleep and have not motivation.

laney57 posted 7/23/2013 17:55 PM

You have definately taken the first steps etexas! It's those little things (huge really) that help me.
Don't laugh... I opened my own checking account and it made my week. 43yrs old and I have something that is all mine. Next step right?
The unknown and the kids are it for me, but I just keep repeating "I deserve more".
So do you!

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