The hard part is do I want to be with someone that can do such a destructive thing and not even question it.
It's questions like these that make reconciliation so difficult, IMO.
Personally speaking, I have had to look at my wife's actions after d-day 1 and d-day 2 (trickle truth), over the last couple of years. She's not perfect by any means, but she has put in a lot of work. She's answered all of my questions to the best of her ability after d-day 2. She's gotten a pretty good grasp on her "why". All of these things, combined with her remorse, make me think that there is about a 99% she won't cheat on me again, and that is my gut speaking.
I think those are pretty good odds to go with, perhaps better than anyone new that I could find in my lifetime.
I think there also has to be some work to be done on the BS side of things to heal. Can you really heal from this? Part of the acceptance process, for me, is that I can't completely heal, but also, that wound will be there regardless of staying with my wife or not. Maybe I can't completely forgive, either. That's okay, as far as I am concerned, and as far as my wife is concerned. She's okay with that, too, and has told me so.
That being said, I think that acceptance and forgiveness is an ongoing and daily process, and are you willing to do that for the rest of your life? At this point in time, I am thinking I am willing to do that, cautiously.
The things I have listed, aside from "what's best for the kid", are what I have considered, along with the fact that I do truly love my wife. I genuinely enjoy spending time with her, and I would truly miss her if she wasn't in my life anymore.
The difficult part is, everyone in this situation has to prioritize and make these decisions on their own. There's no black and white, and everyone's situation, no matter how similar, is so completely different.
[This message edited by LosferWords at 1:11 AM, July 24th (Wednesday)]