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My WS has finally hit rock bottom. He is depressed. Things are difficult right now. I realize I am not strong enough to comfort him. My anger has subsided but the pain and betrayal still remain. The agonizing heartache that makes you feel like you are in your on hell. Part of me is comforted that he is here with me. He is finally starting to understand a little of my pain, disgust, self loathing, feeling like a failure as a wife and a mother for the time before and after the A. It has been a really long time since I have had a real happy day. Not a day that I pretend to be happy or feel some what happy for a few hours of the day if I am lucky. This is a very lonely time in our marriage.

.. (((((n0tm3))))

..focus on the kids as a way of dealing with all the pain.

..that should help fill some of the lonely hours.

..are there some friends that are giving you irl support??

..you will know when to extend the olive branch to him for relieving that need for hugs and 'stuff'..

..in the meantime, sending prayers of healing and comfort.

smy

((((n0tm3))))

IMO this is a critical stage in R. While I understand the WS being depressed I still think it is a time for him to comfort you and to take action of a remorseful nature. Depression in a WS almost has a selfish ring to it since the shitstorm was directly caused by the WS. I would rather see a WS hit rock bottom and react with empathy and act with a goal of helping the BS pull out of the dumps rather than joining her there.