Forum Archives

Return to Forum List

Hi, new to this forum

You are not logged in. Login here or register.

OldCow18 posted 7/23/2013 21:28 PM

I truly believe this is where I'm headed. Just posting here is a bit of a milestone for me. I know it's early for me since d-day but this is something I feel deep in my heart. I feel the only right decision is to end this marriage. I know it's going to be a long journey, but he is a piece of garbage and I can't stand to look at him for another day.

Where do I start? How do I find a lawyer, what questions do I ask, what do I tell the kids? Any advice would be much appreciated.

BTW, feel like I'm going to

Faithful w/Love posted 7/23/2013 21:55 PM

HI,Welcome to this thread.
I have no advice as I have been at this for years and still have not pulled the plug just now getting close.
Call around to at least 3 different lawyers to get free consult.
Do not tell your kids if you are not going to go through with it.
Your babies are young so that would be so hard on them if you were not going to go through with it.
I am proud of you taking this step to be here.
Others with more experience will be along.
Big HUGS to you.
This all sucks and I am so sorry.

OldCow18 posted 7/23/2013 21:59 PM

Thank you Faithful...and I agree that the kids should not be told of a possible divorce, but they have been asking why we are fighting so much lately and if we are divorcing. I don't know how to navigate their questions.

nomistakeaboutit posted 7/23/2013 22:09 PM


It sounds like you are ready to get a D. When that time arrives, it brings with it a lot. ...many emotions. ...some good, including the feeling of regaining some control over your life again.

When I reached that point, I asked someone that was involved in the court system who they would recommend as a good divorce attorney. I met with the person they recommended and was comfortable right away, so that part was pretty easy for me. I hope the same is true for you.

Ask the attorney where you start. They will guide you.

Telling the kids is the hardest part. I think you will need the custody and living arrangements finalized before you tell them. They will want to know, naturally, how this will effect them.

My kids are a little younger than yours. Here is what I chose to tell them. "I have something important to talk to you about right now. Let's come over to the kitchen. "First, and this is very important, you haven't done anything wrong, so what I'm going to tell you isn't about you. It's about mommy and daddy. Mommy and daddy don't love each other as husband and wife any more, but just love each other as friends. So, we can't be married any more. Mommy is going to live in her apartment. The two of you are going to continue to live here with me. You'll see mommy mostly on the weekends. But everything will stay the same for the three of us. You will stay here with me. That's what I wanted to tell you. You can ask me any questions you want to."

Yes, it's a heartbreaking talk, but I got through and they handled it just fine. It's been a year since the divorce was final, and the kids have done fine.

Good luck to you.

caregiver9000 posted 7/23/2013 22:21 PM

My kids were 6 and 9 at the time. If they are asking questions, they are imagining the worst possible things. Be honest even if honest is I don't know.

For what it is worth, was exactly how I felt for a long time...

It gets better.

As for a L... I think it is important to have a good one. How do you find a good one? Ask your friends. Ask. Nothing worse that being in the middle of this shit storm and be frustrated or let down by YOUR advocate.


Return to Forum List

© 2002-2018 ®. All Rights Reserved.     Privacy Policy