SurvivingInfidelity.com Forum Archives

She11ybeanz posted 7/24/2013 07:21 AM

So....this guy started talking to me on Match yesterday and seems like a nice guy..... his profile name was Jay something so I assumed that was his name. So, I asked him if his name was Jay?

He replied, no, its Jason.

That's my XWH's name. I don't know how I feel about that.

I know that a name is just a name and my best friend is re-married to a guy named the same name as her first husband....so I know that its just a title.... but....UGH. Just UGH.

EvenKeel posted 7/24/2013 07:43 AM

You could always still call him Jay! LOL

My friend's H real name is Jason but he goes by Jay.

Welp - look on the positive....this Jason might redeem/change your reaction to the name Jason by a positive association.

She11ybeanz posted 7/24/2013 07:57 AM

I tend to attract guys with similar names.....I've dated 2 davids and a dave....1 Jason and married a Jason....and sperm donor's name was Chad....

I need an Alejandro please!

EvenKeel posted 7/24/2013 08:03 AM

I do that too....I have serious history with a few guys named "Mike".

My GF will always laugh and say "OK was that Mike from ABC-town or Mike from ABC City or Mike from ABC-Ville"

She11ybeanz posted 7/24/2013 08:12 AM

And, I "try" to take into context the fact that Jason and David and Chad are all relatively common names.... but it still doesn't change the fact that I cringe every time a guy introduces himself by one of those names!

cmego posted 7/24/2013 08:15 AM

My ex has a very common name for us "40-somethings". He was the 3rd I dated with this name.

When I first started dating, I couldn't date someone with that name...now it doesn't bother me at all.

My sister's first and second husbands have the same name.

hurtinky posted 7/24/2013 08:25 AM

My mother has been married three times. All of them named Bill.

My ex WH's name is another word for "man." I hear that word constantly. It makes me want to It's like the worst trigger imaginable.

[This message edited by hurtinky at 8:26 AM, July 24th (Wednesday)]

SBB posted 7/24/2013 08:44 AM

Dealbreaker for me. Its an ugly name anyway - I've always thought so.

[t/j - I never once in almost 10 years called his name out during sex. Never said it. Only he and my various ONS-6w stands share this illustrious honour].

I could probably handle it if someone's name was Jason but he went by Jay.

The equivalent in my situation would be T. I don't think I could date a guy who called himself called "T".

EvenKeel posted 7/24/2013 08:48 AM

The equivalent in my situation would be T. I don't think I could date a guy who called himself called "T".

Silly girl - of course not....he would be "Mr. T"

Bhahahahawaaaahhhhhhhhh

SBB posted 7/24/2013 08:50 AM

Hey, when you put it that way... I'm in!

jennie160 posted 7/24/2013 09:10 AM

On the bright side if you accidentally call him by the XWH's name he will never know.

I was petrified of accidentally calling current SO by XH name for about the first year of dating. XH and I were together for 7 years, my only real relationship, I was afraid that I would call SO by XH name out of habit (especially during that sleepy period where your not really asleep but not really awake either).

It sounds like he goes by the name Jay if he is using it as his profile name. Jay and Jason are different enough that it probably wouldn't bother me much.

newlysingle posted 7/24/2013 09:17 AM

I used to work with a woman that married a guy with the same first and last name as her xh. We were laughing that she didn't have to change her name again (she was still using xh's last name). She said she refused to date him initially because of his name, but he eventually won her over.

I'm fortunate that STBX has an unusual name so I doubt I wil come across another one.

She11ybeanz posted 7/24/2013 10:06 AM

I used to work with a woman that married a guy with the same first and last name as her xh.

Wow.....a guy would have to look like Brad Pitt... be a doctor....own an island...and be hung like Ron Jeremy for me to go there!

inconnu posted 7/24/2013 12:41 PM

My SO has the same first name as ex, only spelled different. It was pretty strange at first, and it was hard for me to call SO by name, too. I felt really bad about it, but SO was very understanding. We got through that, and it's not an issue now.

Depending who I'm talking to though, sometimes I still have to say "boyfriend or new firstname" or "ex-firstname" just so they know which one I mean. I try to use "the boys' dad" as much as possible, to cut down on any confusion.

Oh, and what I wrote above is the polite version. At first I used "good first name", and "shithead first name."

nutmegkitty posted 7/24/2013 14:07 PM

I got a hello on Match from someone wiht the same name as my ex, and I thought to myself "poor guy, he could be so nice, but I can't go there right now". It's just too weird for me.

persevere posted 7/24/2013 15:42 PM

XWH is a Gary which is not uncommon - don't think I could go there either....lol.

nowiknow23 posted 7/24/2013 15:59 PM

Wasband shares his name with half the males in America. My future prospects would be SEVERELY limited if I tried to avoid "them."

Truly, though - I very rarely called Wasband by his name. Like - never. It was always a nickname or pet name. I do use his given name now, and I have a hard time using it because it doesn't seem to fit him.

Nature_Girl posted 7/24/2013 17:56 PM

Couldn't do it. He hurt me too badly. Luckily no one is interested in me anyway.

Crescita posted 7/24/2013 18:06 PM

His name was pretty common, and borderline androgynous with all the feminine variations so I'm becoming desensitized to it. Same last name however would send me fleeing for the hills. He had a lot of not so great people in his bloodlines.

caregiver9000 posted 7/24/2013 18:51 PM

I cannot do this. Sorry. Not going to justify it with a "reason" or explain it to any unfortunate people who share his name. But it is a NO for me.

On the bright side if you accidentally call him by the XWH's name he will never know.

If I accidentally call an SO by the "name" in my head for WXH, I will be apologizing for calling him an asshole motherfucker. Some people change THEIR name when they divorce; I changed his.