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Hispanic or Asian Women?

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crushedheart09 posted 7/24/2013 08:17 AM

Where are they?

I think it would interesting to go out with woman of these backgrounds (and I am attracted to them) but they dont seem to be a lot of them on any of the OL dating sites.

hurtbs posted 7/24/2013 08:29 AM

Well, where do you live? In some areas of the country there are more of a particular ethnicity. I live in an urban area that's incredibly diverse.

However, I personally would find it off-putting if a guy said, "I've always wanted to date someone of your ethnicity, I thought it would be interesting..." It would make me feel... really objectified.

[This message edited by hurtbs at 8:29 AM, July 24th (Wednesday)]

Threnody posted 7/24/2013 08:46 AM

I've tried three times to write a response to this, and while my intentions are good, in print it sounds racist -- against Anglos, to be honest.

So I'll just ask this: "Why are you only looking for them on O L D?" Ethnic events, food stores, you name it. There's a million places they congregate, just like any other ethnicity. Find their social circles. Start there.

But please, do NOT go wander through a cultural fair looking like you're trying to pick out the best basket of berries at a farmer's market. Holy no.

GabyBaby posted 7/24/2013 08:48 AM

However, I personally would find it off-putting if a guy said, "I've always wanted to date someone of your ethnicity, I thought it would be interesting..." It would make me feel... really objectified.
This.

yewtree posted 7/24/2013 12:00 PM

What is it about us that you are attracted to?
We are not "them" we are individuals.
Please don't lump us together.
I appreciate that you find a certain type of woman attractive, but your post makes it sound like you are looking for a particular breed of puppy.
It borders on being offensive.

Amazonia posted 7/24/2013 12:06 PM

It borders on being offensive.

I wouldn't even say borders.

lieshurt posted 7/24/2013 12:11 PM

I guess I don't see the issue with it. We all have our preferences....brown hair, green eyes, tall, short, big, small, etc...Why can't ethnicity or race be a preference as well?

Amazonia posted 7/24/2013 13:04 PM

lieshurt, IMO saying you're attracted to dark hair, olive complexion would be a preference. Saying that you think it would be interesting to date an Asian or Hispanic woman presumes so much about who/what you think an entire massive subsection of the population is.

This is one of the better articles I've read on the topic, and I feel that she expresses it much more eloquently than I can.
http://www.thebolditalic.com/ChinHuaLu/stories/3180-why-yellow-fever-is-different-than-having-a-type-

lieshurt posted 7/24/2013 13:34 PM

Saying that you think it would be interesting to date an Asian or Hispanic woman presumes so much about who/what you think an entire massive subsection of the population is.

But couldn't it also be that you know nothing about a particular subsection, so you are trying to broaden your horizons by meeting them?

I completely understand that there are some people who have preconceived notions about a particular group, but it isn't always the case. I'm half Asian. I've had plenty of men tell me they love Asian women because of their beauty, most especially their eyes. I don't really find that to be offensive.

In a way, don't we all have preconceived notions when it comes to who we choose to date? I know we've seen people on here say they only want to date people with degrees (assuming a highler level of intelligence) or only skinny women (assuming a higher fitness level).

I just can't label crushedheart in a negative light because he wants to try something new and different from what he's used to.

Amazonia posted 7/24/2013 13:39 PM

You and I disagree.

Edit because it sounded like I was using the royal we

[This message edited by Amazonia at 1:52 PM, July 24th (Wednesday)]

SisterMilkshake posted 7/24/2013 13:40 PM

My DS27 is very attracted to other ethnicities. He prefers them all over white women (we are white). I didn't find crushedheart09's remarks offensive. DS27 has dated many women of different races/ethnic backgrounds.

For whatever reason, DS finds those women more interesting and attractive. How else are you going to say that?

[This message edited by SisterMilkshake at 1:45 PM, July 24th (Wednesday)]

Unagie posted 7/24/2013 13:43 PM

Well if its about learning the cultures its one thing but if you are attracted to women of these backgrounds its something else. For hispanic women (I can only speak about what I relate to) try spanish dance clubs (depends where you live), food markets are good or even just diverse social areas. I could tell you a myriad of places to go if you were in my city but those are off the top of my head. Also this may sound racist but hispanic communities are close knit and although the younger generations are more open many families don't like dating outside their race. I had a hell of an argument with my dad growing up because I have never dated a hispanic man.

TattoodChinaDoll posted 7/24/2013 13:46 PM

I am half Chinese. I think this whole thing can go either way and would just need elaboration on crushedhearts part. It could just be a preference like tall or brunette. But saying it would be interesting does sound like you're expecting a Chinese woman to walk on your back in bare feet and giggle behind a fan. Maybe it wasn't the smoothest way to ask.

Williesmom posted 7/24/2013 13:49 PM

I think that men with large penises are interesting and attractive. Everyone on OLD has that.

Seriously, I could care less about looks. While there has to be some attraction, I find that I can be attracted to a very wide variety of men.

lieshurt posted 7/24/2013 13:56 PM

Edit because it sounded like I was using the royal we

I understood what you meant

crushedheart09 posted 7/24/2013 16:00 PM

I guess my post was completly misunderstood.

I meant NOTHING racist or demeaning by the post, to anyone.

I am interested in meeting women of a different ethnic background. Nothing more or less.

Now I am reminded why I dont post here that much.....
Everyone assumes the worst about you.........

Jeez!

I am done with SI

[This message edited by crushedheart09 at 4:05 PM, July 24th (Wednesday)]

Unagie posted 7/24/2013 16:06 PM

I didn't assume anything...I was serious when I said the distinction between culture and looks. You'd be looking for 2 very different types of women. And my warning about the family stuff was legit as well. I know your comment was not directed at me specifically but I'm sorry if I offended in any way.

torn2bits posted 7/24/2013 17:28 PM

Crushed, there is no reason to leave SI. There are many opinions and unfortunately, its very hard to get tone and meaning across without body language.

Hispanic women are difnitely in dance clubs. It really does depend on your geographic area.

Good luck with that!

persevere posted 7/24/2013 20:26 PM

crushed, please don't leave SI - just different opinions, I understood where you were coming from.

I don't know if it's cultural (meaning area of country, not ethnicity) but my experience in my state, Texas, is that people have different attractions. I know many black and hispanic people who have preferences, and we all discuss and joke about it (I'm caucasion) all the time. It's simply not a big deal with the people I know, and I associate with a lot of people from different socio-economic backgrounds.

So, please stick around crushed....

SeanFLA posted 7/24/2013 21:07 PM

I really think you can't win in today's society. If you say you don't like a certain ethnicity you get condemned...if you say you're attracted to a certain ethnicity you also get condemned.

My mother married a European immigrant because she found his Irish heritage and accent attractive. Women have dated me because they thought my heritage was cute. I've been dating a woman who is originally from Germany. There's never been a worry over "them" or discrimination. Heck her mom was actually a Hitler Youth when she was girl. She didn't know any different being raised in Nazi Germany. But she's a very nice lady. We are products of our environments. I've heard many women in my years say they like Brits or Scots because of their "hot" accents. I don't find it objectifies or discriminates them. Or is this because he's a man saying this and not a women? That's what I see in this conversation.

I believe the difference in people being attracted to one another is what makes the world go round and it makes it a much more tolerable place to live in. Just my two cents.

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