My DDay was 7 months before my 10th anniversary. I had been soooo looking forward to that anniversary. Before DDay, I had dreams of my 10th being wonderful, hotel getaway, dinner, walking on the beach, all that great stuff. After DDay, not so much.
I told my H after DDay that I didn't want to do anything. As the date got closer, my resolve grew stronger each day. I told him to not even acknowledge the day, it was far too painful and I felt we weren't even married for nearly 10 years since he cheated so long.
The day came, we didn't do anything, no dinner out, no cards exchanged, nothing. It was gloomy and sad for me, just as I was feeling on the inside. At about 6 PM, I told him "I want to at least exchange cards, this just feels wrong" so we both went to the store and spent a bit of time finding a card for each other, went home and wrote in them, then exchanged them after the kids went to bed. The cards were full of pain and remorse from both of us, but they were honest.
This year is our 15th anniversary in just a few weeks. We want to do something wonderful, however we are taking our first family cruise next spring so we would rather spend our money on that then a wonderful anniversary getaway. So, we will get cards for each other, go to a wonderful restaurant for dinner, and maybe get each other the best gifts we can find for under $10 each (it's sort of a game we have).
Do what you feel comfortable with, don't let a counselor or anyone else tell you what you SHOULD do. This is about your journey, your pain, your healing. Do what you feel you should.