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classy6179 posted 7/24/2013 09:12 AM

I am with a guy that wants to have an open relationship girlfriend but i want to know should i stay or leave for good?
i don't want to get hurt

Amazonia posted 7/24/2013 09:23 AM

Do you want an open relationship?

classy6179 posted 7/24/2013 09:26 AM

NO

ajsmom posted 7/24/2013 09:29 AM

Then there's your answer.

Nothing but hurt can come of this for you if you stay.

AJ's MOM

classy6179 posted 7/24/2013 09:34 AM

thank you

Abbondad posted 7/24/2013 09:42 AM

Please, please, DO NOT if you love each other and want your relationship to last. You will be playing with fire.

This is how my STBXWW's affair began, immediately once we started having a "sort of" open marriage. (Even though I now believe she inevitably would have had an affair.)

Amazonia posted 7/24/2013 09:46 AM

I think you need to think long and hard about why you would even consider this if you so clearly don't want it.

Why don't you think you deserve the kind of love you want?
What's so different about this guy that you would consider lowering your standards for him?
Why would you choose something you don't want over the alternatives (i.e. being alone, taking the time to find the right person, etc.)?

classy6179 posted 7/24/2013 09:59 AM

true alot my friends tells me the same things

She11ybeanz posted 7/24/2013 12:16 PM

Do not agree to this. He is apparently a cake-eater and you need to show him the cake WALK and moonpie walk your way to the nearest exit sweetie!!!

NO NEW HURTS!!!! ((BIGHUGZ))

lostmommy posted 7/24/2013 12:24 PM

I would absolutely never agree to being in an open relationship. Ever. If someone presented the idea to me I would end the relationship I was in with them immediately.

classy6179 posted 7/24/2013 13:01 PM

should i wait to tell him in person or text him

Amazonia posted 7/24/2013 13:14 PM

how long have you been together?

classy6179 posted 7/24/2013 13:17 PM

One Year finally a month ago he got divorce

hurtbs posted 7/24/2013 13:19 PM

A) You say you don't want an open relationship, so do not compromise it. You will get hurt.

B) The fact that he even broached this is a red flag that he is going to try to pursue an "open relationship" with or without your knowledge...

One Year finally a month ago he got divorce

ETA: wait... are you saying that you were the OW for the past year?

[This message edited by hurtbs at 1:31 PM, July 24th (Wednesday)]

SisterMilkshake posted 7/24/2013 13:29 PM

ETA: wait... are you saying that you were the OW for the past year?
?????????

ajsmom posted 7/24/2013 13:32 PM

'k, y'all.

Let classy answer so that she can be helped in Wayward if that's the case.

Amazonia posted 7/24/2013 13:41 PM

OW or not, I would end things with him in person after a year.

Check out http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk. If your friends are telling you your boundaries need help and this post is an accurate assessment of them, this might be a good resource for you.

[This message edited by Amazonia at 1:42 PM, July 24th (Wednesday)]

classy6179 posted 7/24/2013 14:27 PM

K i will tell him person

classy6179 posted 7/24/2013 14:44 PM

the problem is he comes around each time stupid me comes around each and every time hoping this time is real.

Crescita posted 7/24/2013 15:02 PM

Maybe Iím cold but I don't understand the necessity for a face to face in order to end a relationship. If the relationship didnít work, you donít need to play it right so that friendship can immediately ensue. Itís not going to happen. End it in whatever way is most comfortable for YOU. Be clear that you are done, erect strong boundaries, go NC, and get on with your healing.

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