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Struggling with losing her again

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kroma posted 7/24/2013 11:45 AM

I am a new member. This is my 1st post so please bear with me. I've never done this before.I won't get into what got me here (it's in my profile) but I need help and maybe this is what I need.
After living back home with my family (it's been 6 months) my BS is still struggling with anger and can't seem to get the horrible memories out of her head. She told me yesterday she feels there's no other choice but for me to move out so she can try and clear her head. When I left 9 months ago it was the worst time of my life. Now-hearing this it brings me right back and I feel like everything I've done up to this point (therapy, changed who I am, husband, father) will spiral backwards.
She says she needs her space to figure out who she is and maybe she will fall back in love me. I'm afraid that once I'm gone she will be happier without me and I will never have her or my family back. I want her to be happy again but it may not happen unless I leave. I am torn, frustrated and sad and I don't know what to do.

Deeply Scared posted 7/24/2013 12:23 PM

kroma...

I think that's one of the unfortunate issues we WS's are faced with. If our BS feels the need for space, then we really need to accept that and all the consequences that go along with cheating.

My best advice to you is to continue to help her work through her pain, be there for her and show her you're willing to go through thick and thin to make things right again.

It's good to have you with us

kroma posted 7/24/2013 14:05 PM

And the crazy thing is that I know you're right about giving her the space she wants. I know she is hurting. I'm just afraid to go back to the same horrible place I was last year. When I say that to her she tells me it's not about me. And she's right. It still doesn't change the fact that the thought of losing my wife puts me into a panic attack every time. (Yes I know-I started this).
It's just so damn hard. I screwed up big time. I've done a lot of soul searching. I took responsibility for what I did and I sought help. I've changed as a person and have done everything I could to treat her the way she should have been treated. The days of taking my marriage for granted are over and I just want to love her. And I want her to love me back. I'm feeling depressed, worthless, and without hope. I don't have the support that she has. I guess that's why I'm here. It's like I need someone to talk to. Thanks for writing back.

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