When your gut is telling you something and you are not quite sure why, how do you know if it is based on a "red flag" or a "trigger"?
My loose definition being "red flag" = based on facts and a "trigger" = based on a singular experience with someone else(even perhaps irrational, but not always)
I think you hit the nail on the head.... your gut is your 6th sense...and it just let's you know when something doesn't feel right.... a stranger in a dark alley... etc... and a trigger reaction is based on your history and past experiences....
ME - BW - 35
HIM - XWH - 39
D day: November 15th, 2009
Married: 5 Years, together 8
Divorced: December 13th, 2010
New Beginning: Piper/8-3-12
For example, if XWH cheated while saying he was participating in a sport, and now your SO wants to participate in the same sport, I'm sure your gut would tell you something. Like, "the last time this happened it didn't end good" but really isn't it an irrational fear, since people participating in a particular sport doesn't really have anything to do with cheating. BUT - then your gut is saying "Something is wrong here!"
(Just a example, has nothing to do with my situation.)
If thinking it through makes your gut scream at you, I’d drop the trigger label and just call it a red flag. Address the issue in the here and now, know your boundaries, don’t let your past even become a talking point.
Separated, divorcing, moving on.
I edit because I always make typos.