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Can I help her without telling her...

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jjsr posted 7/24/2013 13:06 PM

I volunteer at a place on post. Today I was talking with another volunteer, and she told me she was moving to Atlanta on Aug 7th. I thought they got orders to move. Nope seems she found out in April he cheated on her well over a yr ago because after that he went to Afghanistan. She also said something about another cell phone. She says she is taking the kids and going to stay with her family for awhile but she doesn't really believe in divorce. She says shes very angry and wants to smash his face in ( which we all can relate too)
I asked her a couple questions like are they in MC ( yes) and he is doing what hes supposed to as far as transparency etc but she is so angry. Anyway, I so wanted to tell her I understand and wanted to tell her about this site but I just couldn't. I don't want anyone where I volunteer or anyone here to know what I have been thru so I am not sure how I could help her. Any thoughts?

Jrazz posted 7/24/2013 13:07 PM

Maybe you can say that someone close to you has gone through this? I mean, it's kinda true.

I think that this kind of stretch is ok... you're protecting your privacy but also trying to help someone.

kiki1 posted 7/24/2013 13:09 PM

hello jjsr

can you tell her of the site by saying " a friend of a friend" line.

asking her if she has done online infidelity research?

Rebreather posted 7/24/2013 13:13 PM

This is what I say, "I have several friends who gave gone through this the past few years, some have found help online. And it is also my understanding that the book Not Just Friends can be a life saver." Or something similar.

My poor *friends*. All drug under the bus to save me.

tryingmybest2011 posted 7/24/2013 21:26 PM

JJSR, tell her you have had conversations with a few people (us!) that have been through this and have found help online, as posted above.

Let us be your mysterious "friends" or "people". Complete truth!

noescape posted 7/24/2013 21:37 PM

Or point her to the huffington post article about this site, tell her to ignore the comments....

inconnu posted 7/24/2013 21:48 PM

"I was thinking about what we talked about, and I hope you don't mind but I did a little googling. I found some resources for you, if you would like them."

purplejacket4 posted 7/24/2013 23:05 PM

I think when you're in a position to offer advice in either a professional or volunteer role that people are just great full for the information and don't care of the circumstances you acquired it.

[This message edited by purplejacket4 at 11:05 PM, July 24th (Wednesday)]

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