Cheating Hurt by Infidelity
Betrayal Wayward Donations lying



Find a Local Counselor

The Healing Library


Contact Us
In Association with
Infidelity -
- Forum Archives

like us on facebook
You are not logged in. Login here or register.
Newest Member: danisisu7 (61142)

User Topic: H being too nice!!??
staying hopefull
♀ 5748
Member # 5748
Default  Posted: 3:32 PM, July 24th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I love SI b/c it gives us a place to vent and ask others questions that are swarming around our...or should I say my crazy mind! H was a total jerk on our 15th wedding anniversary last week...then did some crappy things while he was out of cheating...but just not what I would think a married person should do (he agrees)...anyways... He says he feels awful about how he acted...doing everything right...being SUPER sweet, and texting and calling...saying he loves me all the time. Which is great! But now in the back of my mind...I am now wondering..oh no! Is he acting this nice b/c I was getting close to catching him doing something wrong again!
I guess that is what sucks about infidelity...once it hits your marriage...the fear of it coming back never truly goes away....
He is an open book. Leaves his phone out, leaves his computer out, I know his passwords etc. So I would think if he was up to something he would be more protective of that stuff..unless he has another phone somewhere! Oh no...there goes my crazy mind again!
But really! Just wanted to see if others have ever thought like that...if the FWS is being too nice they must be up to something!!

We really are a happy family and have been in a really good place for years now, but then theres that darn voice in the back of my head questioning if things are too good to be true!

[This message edited by staying hopefull at 3:35 PM, July 24th (Wednesday)]

Me - BS (40) FWH (43)
Two children
Together 20 years, married 15 years
Reconcilied for 9 years!

Posts: 1031 | Registered: Nov 2004
♂ 14866
Member # 14866
Default  Posted: 12:23 PM, July 25th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I think that those feelings are common. Although I think that you have to think along the lines that this isn't anything until you have proof that it isn't. This doesn't mean that you can't check. Your gut is thinking otherwise so you might just want to check on things.

Posts: 54405 | Registered: Jun 2007
♀ 21101
Member # 21101
Default  Posted: 12:30 PM, July 25th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Those thoughts after R'ing are something we all experience once in a while. I also think that as long as they are fleeting and his behaviors/actions don't match my worries we are good.
But I tend to have those thoughts more when he is behaving like a selfish ass, that's the way he was during the A. For me those thoughts don't last long.
However your radar may be up since he behaved in a way that stretched his boundaries recently. It can be hard to figure out is that my gut or my brain? It's those rare times I actually find myself snooping again.

(((and strength))))

Him: FWS
Kids: 18 & 20
Married for 22 years now, was 16 at the time. .
D-Day Sept 26 2008
R'd in about 2 years. Old Vet now.

Posts: 13177 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: St. Louis
Topic Posts: 3

Return to Forum This Topic is Archived
© 2002 - 2017 All Rights Reserved.