My husband and I have been together for 3 years now. Five months ago, we had a little baby girl.
I've always trusted him and never once thought that he would do this to me....especially considering that we were both cheated on in our past relationships.
He left his phone out when he was in the shower....and I know it was wrong...but I snooped through his phone. I read his past messages from a girl I knew he has been friends with for a while and I found some very upsetting messages.
It looks like the messages started when my daughter was a month old...and ended (with the sexual type messages anyway) about a month or two back.
This girl sent him photos of her private area...and a topless photo...and he sent her a nude photo back.
And get this...he tried convincing her to come over when I was out with friends the first time that I ever went out after having our daughter!
What hurts the most, though, is the fact that he sent her a message saying he wished she was his wife.
I confronted him about it, and he confessed. He said that they never did anything...that they hung out once and didn't even hug (I do believe him...because of what was said in some of the messages)
I asked this girl...and she confirmed the story.
He told me there was no reason that he did it...other than being a drunk asshole. My husband has a drinking problem...and he is a totally different person when he is drunk. I know that is not an excuse..but I can see alcohol coming into play.
He is totally remorseful...snot-nosed, crying, scared about me leaving him. He apologizes constantly, most of the time he's the one that brings it up. (I found out two or three weeks ago)
I'm just so hurt by his actions...I don't know how to let go. I love him so much...and we have a daughter to think about.
This may be TMI...but the only explanation I can think of is our lack of sex the first months after our daughter was born. I tried to please him anyway, even though intercourse was painful most of the time.
He cut off all contact with the girl...blocked her from Facebook and what not. I have Verizon....he doesn't know, but I can monitor who he is calling or texting...and he hasn't called or texted anyone but me, his brother-in-law and boss after the incident.
I told him that if it ever happens again, I will leave. I also made him give up the alcohol...told him that he could only drink on occasion. He agreed and promised to make things better.
I just don't know how to move on. I'm so deeply hurt. I've also heard people say, Once a cheater, always a cheater"...but I don't know if that is true. I don't want to leave him...but part of me wishes that I could find someone who would never do that to me.
Will healing just take time? :/