It has been several weeks since I have posted anything. So an update is due.
Things remain in year two limbo. I have found some hope in posts from doesitgetbetter. Most recently one response could be my wifes mentality to a t. at around 10 months or so (july of last year), my wife wanted a seperation, and to date remains unsure of what she wants. if she wants the marraige to work, or if she wants to move on. she has given up on the marraige. very similar to the post i referred to earlier. i have hope in the fact that at around 2.5 years, healing and forgiveness happened. maybe ( actually definitely) there may be no guarantee that will be the timeframe my wife takes. but i sure hope its pretty darn close. we are both lonely, and need affection. but she is not ready for that with me yet which i totally respect.
at times i do become frustrated with her inability to see herself as being wrong for her past, ( my story is posted). but i do understand why dealing with my a has been difficult for her. we process things differently. i have forgiven her totally for her a's and honestly do not give them a thought at all. everyone is different.
i can only hope that if i continue to work on myself, and continue to do the things i need to do to get her to see me for who i have become not my past. maybe it will happen. the hole point of trying is not giving up no matter what. so i am in it for the long haul.
september will be two years since dday. it should be a tough month. i anticipate it being worse than last year.
time and persistence hopefully win out, and she begins to turn her anger and resentment towards me around.
stories like doesitgetbetters have helped me tremendously. thank you.