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Newest Member: EllaE21 (60723)

User Topic: Anger/ vent
♀ 39902
Member # 39902
Default  Posted: 5:34 PM, July 24th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I am starting to get angery because of my fiancée denial . I'm really wondering why I want to R.
Yes I have never felt so compatible with anyone before. I feel like he really loves me. But I also feel like he thinks he can buy me... Well , no you can't !! I do not accept any help from him.
But why should I stay with someone that can't own their own sh....?
Makes me wonder what else he keeps under the rug.
Divorced my first WH. Now I'm in another relationship with a cheater.sometimes I tell myself I my as well stay he treats me good when we are together & I have come to believe I will find no one that is honest.
It is so complicated . My son thinks the world of my fiancé . My son was in his shell until he got close to my fiancé. Also my XH claims that he will no longer see our son cause its not convient for him. Ugh!

Posts: 643 | Registered: Jul 2013
♀ 38384
Member # 38384
Default  Posted: 7:18 PM, July 24th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((emotionalhell)) Well if your reg date is any indication of your D-day then you have just experienced it.

R cannot be achieved if your partner is not willing to man up/own up/do the work.

You asked the question: Why should I stay with someone who can't own their own shit?

Why would you? Because your son opens up around him? Because you don't feel people will tell the truth? Because your ex won't be around for your son? That is not enough.

This man will hurt you and your son down the road (he already has) if he cannot own his behavior now. Read the Healing Library. Do the 180.

What kind of role model is he for your son? How will your son view you in the long run?

I highly recommend you look into IC and put the wedding on hold for at least one year - until you are sure of yourself and can better trust him.


[This message edited by LA44 at 7:19 PM, July 24th (Wednesday)]

Me: 44
He: 47 WH
Married: 15 years
D Day: December 2012
Affair: Fall 2009 - Dec. 2011
R is not linear

Posts: 3439 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: Canada, eh
♀ 16913
Member # 16913
Default  Posted: 7:18 PM, July 24th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Just wanted to tell u I'm in the same boat. Found out my fiancé cheated of some sorts. Was on Craigslist for u years posting ads for both men and women. Claims it wasn't about sex...I call bs. I beg him just to tell truth. We got a poly done passed stating no intention or physical contact. I to was married before and D due to him cheating. I have a 6 yo daughter that loves my WF to pieces. My WF treats me and my d very good always had. I thought he was my soulmate. I'm beginning to think that no one is honest also. I mean at least he treats me good. Torn!!!! This boat sucks!!!

Posts: 659 | Registered: Nov 2007
♀ 16913
Member # 16913
Default  Posted: 7:21 PM, July 24th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Btw...I have called the wedding off. I no longer wear ring as it hurts to much! We r stuck in limbo! Have been since march 2013!

Posts: 659 | Registered: Nov 2007
Topic Posts: 4

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