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Newest Member: Giupeppe (46032)

User Topic: OW fishing after long NC
Shattered-Heart
♀ 32165
Member # 32165
Default  Posted: 6:04 PM, July 24th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

An unmarked package came today for WH. No return address, but signed for. Inside something he bought for her, no note, nothing to say who it was from.
Talk about ruining my day. They just won't f*ing go away! NC has been for ages, why send it now?
To his credit he told me what it was (I already knew about the purchase anyway).
Just f*ing pissed off, and trying not to take it out on him.
How have you guys handled similar?
I'm afraid bottling is going to lead to a blow up later.


Me BW
Him WH
"The trick is to keep breathing." - Garbage

Posts: 191 | Registered: May 2011
Lucky
♀ 6864
Member # 6864
Default  Posted: 6:32 PM, July 24th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Don't bottle it up, talk, talk & talk!
Turn towards each other, you can't control the OW


♥ WINE - the other fruit juice! ♥


Posts: 36162 | Registered: Apr 2005
openedupmyeyes
♀ 27871
Member # 27871
Default  Posted: 7:07 PM, July 24th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((((Shattered heart))))))
Yes, I can relate. Angry bird sent a magazine subscription for my h bday. At Christmas she sent a gift card. Always no return address or a made up one.
After 3 years. I'm learning that sometimes they want to cause trouble at home. Mind fu@king. Plain and simple.
You cannot control another person's actions. Only you control you. Talk it out with your H. Try to stay focused on what you want. Ignore her. What is he doing to help you through this assault?


Me:55 BS
Him:55 FWH Trying to make me a believer?
Years married:37
:03-01-10: The day I learned the truth
Kids:Daughters 4 all grown and married.
Reconciliation is hard.
Really freakin' hard.

Posts: 767 | Registered: Mar 2010 | From: The Great State of Texas
mitz66
♀ 17888
Member # 17888
Default  Posted: 7:13 PM, July 24th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yep, happened to us on our vacation. We both moved away from the town the ow lives in, went back for a vacation and visiting family. OW sent ws a scathing email that she heard he was in town and did not contact her. It ruined my day, I was happy he told me and said he did not respond to her. Unfortunately he deleted the message. It has been 6 months since last contact.

I totally get how that can ruin a day. On a positive note, he was able to talk more about the A and apologise again. The fact that she did not get a response made me smile. This is the first time in 7 years that he has ignored her. Hang in there Shattered.


Me:44 BS Him:43 WH
M May 07 Adult kids
DDay #1 Pics on cell jly 07
Jan08 DDay #2 "Just Friends" admits EA DDay #3 July 2010 - he insisted on platonic contact ..False R - until Dec 2010 admits PA in April 07
Dec 2012 NC succeeded

Posts: 543 | Registered: Jan 2008
redrock
♀ 21538
Member # 21538
Default  Posted: 7:23 PM, July 24th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((Shattered-Heart)))

The OW fished about 4 times. One as late as a year plus out from the A. We ignored. She went away when she found a new playmate.

That is what it is... fishing. Nothing more. Any type of validation/ attention, even negative attention gives her a hit/high. It is pathetic. Don't give it to her.

Burn her item, or toss it, put it on the neighbors dog... But stay NC.

It is a good sign that your H told the truth. Now you can deal with it like the team that you are. What is the plan if she decides to make follow-up contact with your H? How do you guys think it should be dealt with?

Perhaps you can have a strongly worded letter sent to her from a lawyer stating that if there is further contact you will be filing harassment charges.

It's okay to be mad. Even ticked off at your H. He invited her in without considering how it would all shake out. It is okay to be pissed.

But be pissed with a plan.

Hang in there.


I don't respect anyone that can't spell a word more than one way:)

Posts: 3163 | Registered: Nov 2008 | From: Michigan
DoneWithLove
♀ 39380
Member # 39380
Default  Posted: 7:36 PM, July 24th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My FWHs exOW/ coworker likes to brag about her new f buddies and show them off in front of him at work, as if to get a reaction out of him. He says shes not doing it to get his attention but when he broke it off with her, she had the nerve to repeatedly ask why and talk bad about him at work even though her and everyone else knew he was married. Its just the AP trying to get a reaction. Just dispose of the stuff and ignore her and any other future attempts. Good luck


BW: Me (24)
FWH: Him (24) Jlaz1988ws
Together 11/12/06
2 sons, ages 5 and 1
Married 9/29/12
EA turned PA with OW/ coworker for 2- 4 weeks
D day 4/20/13
TT 4/20/13 - 7/30/13
"R" 5/3/13

Posts: 191 | Registered: May 2013 | From: The mitten state
sri624
♀ 33956
Member # 33956
Default  Posted: 8:07 PM, July 24th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

the ow actually sent me an email a few months after everything blew up. attached to the email was a brochure on addiction...since she knows my h has substance abuse issues. she said she didnt mean to interfere, but couldnt help her self. i didnt respond. can you imagine the ow contacting me the wife to "help" me with my husband's addiction? what a serious loser.

i didnt respond. let her wonder all day "why" i didnt respond.

then a few days later...she sends an anonymous letter that included that same brochure printed out." she sent it to his job.

and this is the same woman who said she was so sorry for cheating with my husband....and how she would never contact him again. she knows i have access to his phone/phone records. so, she goes and sends him communications anonymously.

that is why i now clearly understand that it is never a good idea to contact the ow...they will always LIE.

as far as i know...my h has not contacted her either. i dont think he has...but since i dont trust him after all that happens...i cant say for sure. i guess as a BS, you just never really know anyway.


BS (41):(Former Doormat)
WS (39):(Busted Cheater)
Married: 10 years, 3 kids under 5
DD1: 10/11 PA/EA with pilates instructor/former stripper.
DD2: 10/12 False r, cheating with other women, online dating,Substance abuse issues.
R:Last chance

Posts: 1039 | Registered: Nov 2011 | From: Alabama
Topic Posts: 7

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