Your brain is trying to process this mess. You need to try to rest and, trust me, I know that's really hard to do right now. Whenever you feel like eating try to eat lots of protein foods to help your body during this time of stress & drink lots of fluids to stay hydrated.
Try to see what kind of future you are looking at if you stay with this man & his 3 children & their mother. You have worked hard to get where you are & deserve to be treated with love & respect. You are worth so much more!
This man has shown you several times who he is & you need to believe him. Don't waste another day trying to figure his mess out.
Take care of you & please keep posting. There are so many wise people here that will give you some very invaluable advice. This site has been my salvation during my darkest hours & we will all be here for you too.
(((roadtorecovery21))) cyber hugs!
First things first - welcome to SI. I'm so very glad you found us.
You come across as a very intelligent, driven woman. You must know that he is showing you who he is and what life would continue to be like with him.
I don't even know if its worth even having the conversation
My advice? Walk away. Make a clean cut - go No Contact (NC), and put your focus on yourself and your own healing.
And never grow a wishbone, daughter, where your backbone ought to be.
― Sarah McMane
Let him go, he has hurt you enough.
There is no future with him.
Dont believe the lies he tells you.
I'm sorry you are in such pain. God will help you
Is it normal to hate myself and letting it drag out as long as it did
What they DON'T do is tear each other down, lie to them, and betray them repeatedly.
He's the one who was wrong. THAT is where your anger belongs. And it will get there - I promise.
In the meantime, be gentle with yourself.
Is it normal to hate myself and letting it drag out as long as it did.
It's normal. You want the relationship bad enough to overlook a lot. However, if you keep allowing it, you will have a hard time getting your self-respect back.
she asked me if I was an idiot or insane if I knew that she was pregnant but still was with him?
Talk about the pot calling the kettle black. I'd have laughed at her. She got pregnant with a guy who won't commit to her or anyone else and keeps getting other women pregnant. Seems to me, you're the only woman who wasn't an idiot. You put your education first and can move on without having any ties to him.
Seriously, this guy is nearly 40-years-old and keeps getting women he works with pregnant. I'm sure he's a smooth talker but he definitely is no prize.
Cut your loses.
Don't blame yourself for this relationship failing. He got 2 other women pregnant.
We all do this. It is the shock and the trauma that make us do it.