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I am the betrayer

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Wisew posted 7/24/2013 21:16 PM

Me and my partner have been together for 6 years. On and off, not married but its been brought up. He's cheated on me countless times and lately for the last 9 months we have been amazing, honestly the best we ever have been. Bt just recently I found out he cheated on me when we first started getting good 9 months ago. I broke it off and resorted to someone else. Me and my partner ended up trying to give things one last try and I truthfully wish I had the heart to because I'm in love with the guy. But I've been so hurt about everything that I still am with the other person, my partner doesn't know. And this new guy makes me feel amazing he makes me feel great but it's so hard for me to let go of my partner, part of me wants to but the other half doesnt want to leave this new guy.

I'm stuck thinking wether I should listen to my heart or my mind. Honestly I feel like my heart is in two places and I don't know what to do. I think I'm getting attached to the fresh feeling of feeling cared for, and treated like I want to.. I just don't know

Deeply Scared posted 7/24/2013 21:20 PM


Since you're posting from a WS stand point, we will move this to the WS forum where you will get a lot of really good support.

nomistakeaboutit posted 7/24/2013 21:21 PM

It looks like you have a choice to make.

LosferWords posted 7/24/2013 21:27 PM

Hello, and welcome to SI. I think you will be able to find a lot of help here.

I think the most important thing to do, and the first order of business, is to come clean with your partner. Even though he doesn't know he is currently being betrayed, it is hurting him, and you are causing great harm to yourself as well.

I'd also recommend the Madhatter's thread in the "I Can Relate" forum. Madhatters have worn both hats in their current relationship: betrayed and wayward. I am a member of that thread, myself.

Best of luck to you, and welcome.

Wisew posted 7/24/2013 21:45 PM

Thank you all, I do do have a choice to make but I feel like which ever one I make won't be the one I want. I love the feeling this new man gives me, feelings wanted and loved. Making me feel like I haven't felt in so long. But then again I look at my partner and he doesn't even make me feel the same. The sex isn't as amazing either with him, as it is with this new man. But something in my heart doesn't give me the strength to throw away 6 years, even though I should've left years ago... I never had the strength to. I look at myself today and bang my head on the mirror, ashamed I didn't leave years ago, especially when he would hurt me with another girl right infront of my eyes.. Hes trying so hard too, to make up for everything hes done.. m clueless, I'm considering therapy

[This message edited by Wisew at 9:47 PM, July 24th (Wednesday)]

BaxtersBFF posted 7/24/2013 22:13 PM

The feeling of the OM is not something you can compare to the feelings you have/had for your BF. And until you go NC with the OM, you will never be able to make a decision based in truth.

lifelongregret posted 7/25/2013 18:59 PM

To the OP , best to make a decision and live with it rather than stringing along your current BF while you try out your new fling. It isn't fair to either of you , if your new man makes you feel amazing, choose him and be done with it, just stop with the back and forth otherwise it will be like playing with fire.

Stillkicking posted 7/25/2013 20:13 PM

HONESTY. This is key.

I have to ask, does your AP know about your boyfriend? Because if not then you are betraying them as well,
What start to a relationship that would be.

I would question yourself as to wether you are ready to be in a relationship right now, after a poor (?) six year go around with your BF.

IMHO, I would break it off with both men for a month and then see where your heart sits.

It won't be easy Wise, but with some heavy soul searching, and great thought you will find the right path.

Just remember to be honest with both men, and most importantly, be true and honest to yourself.

You WILL find your way.

Good luck.

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