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Newest Member: Schattenfell (61077)

User Topic: Hysterical bonding vs thinking???
♂ 35458
Member # 35458
Default  Posted: 11:03 PM, July 24th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Help please! After a very contentious conversation, Mrs. QTR sent an apology to me, BW, and confessed her affair to her sister. This had been a bone of contention with me for many years, since she had confided my porn use with her sister when she was already 4 years into her affair.
I'm not stupid, but this was huge after 5 years of frustration and repeated d-days. Problem: I want her very badly. It's been a very long time, and when she hugged me as we both cried, the urge was overwhelming. But I don't trust her, and I want to be able to view her actions objectively. I can't go back to a life in which she is tolerating me while carrying a torch for someone else, just waiting for an excuse to begin the phone conversations again. I won't do that, and I fear that sex will cloud things rather than clarify them. For me, it would imply a permanent commitment that I am not sure I am ready to make. I don't want to have sex with a woman who I am willing to throw out of the house at the next provocation. No, I do want to, I just don't know if it is wise. Thoughts? (Aside from "You're and idiot, which I already know)

Posts: 166 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: Appalachia
♂ 34888
Member # 34888
Default  Posted: 11:22 PM, July 24th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

General consensus: enjoy the HB while it lasts. Mileage varies as do the end results.

Posts: 739 | Registered: Feb 2012
♀ 37107
Member # 37107
Default  Posted: 6:41 AM, July 25th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

We did the whole hysterical bonding thing, it was a lot of fun, but I think it did cloud things... it made my already confused feelings even MORE confused and it also led to some self-loathing on my part.

It's a very confusing and difficult situation to be in and there are no easy answers. Wish I could give you some advice, but it's something I am equally confused about!

BS 49
Together 32 yrs, M 28 years
2 daughters 27yo(married with 2 children) & 21yo
D-Day 18 Aug 2012
6mth EA lead to 4mth PA with CO-W. I found out 8 1/2 yrs later

Posts: 1310 | Registered: Oct 2012
Topic Posts: 3

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