We are 14 months from d-day and life is "new normal". I am no longer hurting or sad. The anger is minimal and usually flares up around that time of the month, so hormonally driven. I have been seeing 2 therapists, one I see weekly still (childhood sexual abuse psychotherapist) and the other (IC) is down to once a month now. The therapy has been very intense and I have had some pretty tough "look in the mirror, face your demons and hidden self" sessions. I no longer talk of the A or think of it all that much. OW is a fleeting thought and I feel nothing when it does crop up. I rarely trigger. I laugh in a way I have not laughed in years. I have a sense of freedom I don't ever remember feeling...ever. I feel good, really good. I don't check up on WH as it's not worth my time or energy TBH. I do talk about A behaviours with WH but the almost OCD discussions on the details of the A itself has reached a point of "meh, it was what it was". WH is still having a hard time processing all of this and still has panic attacks and is now on a waiting list to see a psychotherapist recommended by his IC and our GP. I understand that my healing process has been faster than his because when I met with my ICs I told them "kid gloves off and no pussy footing, I want tough talking and 2x4s" whereas I feel WH is being "handled". I have been "charging at the enemy" for so long and so hard that I am finding it difficult to slow down and wait for WH and it scares him. Both therapists have cautioned me to slow down as WH does not process things as fast as I do. The question is...is it normal for me to feel this way at 14 months out or am I just on a screwy detour? I have been feeling this way for about 2 months now.
ETA: My ICs feel that I have outgrown WH and if I don't slow down and wait for him to catch up then our M might not be saved and they both, as well as WH's IC, feel our M is worth rebuilding.
[This message edited by TheTooGoodWife at 6:56 AM, July 25th (Thursday)]