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Newest Member: new2this2 (45757)

User Topic: How does it happen??
Betrayed07
♀ 39650
Member # 39650
Default  Posted: 6:55 AM, July 25th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My WH and I are trying to R. His A came up last night in conversation related to our move. He is still ashamed, embarrassed, etc, and said he was always proud he was not like father who is a huge cheater. He said he had been propositioned before and always turned them down. He hates that after so long (13 yrs together) he finally gave in. I was actually a good conversation. It reassured me that even though we don't talk much about it, we are far from being past it. I was glad to hear that it is still plaguing his mind, not just mine. I felt less alone.

So I questioned the previous proposition who was by yet another woman at his work. He said she was always asking him to give in and at one point even showed him her breasts. He turned her down and she couldn't believe it. WHO DOES THIS???? And at work??? I guess I was raised differently and just don't get it! Its just an unfathomable concept to me.

So now I see every woman as a threat. I thought other women were like me. I feel like a crazy woman now thinking every woman wants to f^$* my husband! So now not only do I not trust men, I don't trust women either! Am I in the minority in this world??


Posts: 41 | Registered: Jun 2013 | From: New Jersey
Heavy Sigh
♀ 34243
Member # 34243
Default  Posted: 7:03 AM, July 25th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

A woman at an arts event propositioned my husband right in front of me, so I don't know what ever happened to women, self-respect and morals.

But I don't trust men, either, so in addition to thinking your husband's co-worker is a cuckoo off her meds, I will also wonder if he exaggerated all of this to make him seem a hero and to make you insecure enough to try to please him to keep him rather than withdraw emotionally or sexually into the BS form of Pain Zone or Anger Zone.

So if you think you're a crazy woman, then you have plenty of company, including me.


Posts: 1917 | Registered: Dec 2011
DragnHeart
♀ 32122
Member # 32122
Default  Posted: 7:19 AM, July 25th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My wh first ow, a co worker, exposed her breasts to him. Other than knowing that one detail I know nothing more of what they did.

Knowing that, however, always sickened me. How could anyone be like that, In. A. Place. They. Work???


Posts: 3483 | Registered: May 2011 | From: Canada
broken81
♀ 36774
Member # 36774
Default  Posted: 7:56 AM, July 25th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

people have no self respect anymore..its unfathomable to me aswell.
I guess women have no problem exposing themselves since men watch porn at work?!?!?!???
OW over here went on step further...she was taking pictures of her vag touching herself at work! WHO does that???
She does not have her own office.


Me BS
him fWS
M 8yrs 2 kids
DD 2/12 lies until 4/12
2.5 yr A with an OLD married whore
working on R

Posts: 233 | Registered: Sep 2012
SilverFlame
♀ 39929
Member # 39929
Default  Posted: 8:50 AM, July 25th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I guess certain women (people) have no sense of decency and no personal boundaries. I put this type of behavior down to a lack of self respect. These are people we share the world with (however I wish some of them would just get hit by a bus...)


Me 37 BGF
Him WBF
Relationship of two years.

Him: inappropriate emails with ex girlfriend. She was OW during his last marriage. OW- skank with no morals or ethics (personal or professional)
D-Day mid July 2013


Posts: 17 | Registered: Jul 2013
Jennifer99
♀ 39551
Member # 39551
Default  Posted: 9:13 AM, July 25th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Your thoughts have been through my head...I think it is why I was so depressed and stuck under the "people suck" bus.

So I had to go and find me some peeps that didn't suck - woot - found SI. Some other people too.


Posts: 556 | Registered: Jun 2013
Lonelygirl10
♀ 39850
Member # 39850
Default  Posted: 9:14 AM, July 25th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You're not crazy. The OW in my situation took her clothes off and danced naked in front of my WS and their boss about a year before A. He told me about it the next day, and I remember thinking WTF. A year later, they had sex. I know it's my WS's fault, but I also get angry at these girls for providing so much temptation to men. Why can't they just accept no????


30 Bgf
Dday: April 2013
Relationship ended: January 2014

Posts: 1298 | Registered: Jul 2013
pewpewpew
♀ 38116
Member # 38116
Default  Posted: 9:16 AM, July 25th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I hear ya sister.

Ugh. My WHs A happened with a female co worker who is a grandmother. Really? Do you not have ANY respect for yourself nor your family?!


ME: 30
WH: 35

Fool me once - Shame on you. Fool me twice - pack your shit and get out.


Posts: 310 | Registered: Jan 2013
somanyyears
♂ 26970
Member # 26970
Default  Posted: 9:24 AM, July 25th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


..
So now not only do I not trust men, I don't trust women either!

see my tagline..

trusting people, even being around other people, can give you cause to pause.

..betrayal completely changes our world.. in the worst way

sending prayers and support..

smy


trust no other human- love only your pets
She isn't and never was who I thought..I can't believe who I married and what she did to us.
Me 67
Her 63
Married 42 yrs (together 47)
18 yr LTA with bf


Posts: 4134 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: the sad state of affairs
Betrayed07
♀ 39650
Member # 39650
Default  Posted: 11:57 AM, July 25th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thank you all for agreeing!! Seriously, I don't know what happened to morals and decency! Why don't they think of the wife and kids they are trying to break apart? How can you live with yourself?? I know its my WH's fault for eventually giving in to one, but I am just so angry with HER and these women!!! Sometimes I wish I wasn't so "good" b/c apparently, they are not suffering like we are now. They go about their lives without a care for anyone else.

Posts: 41 | Registered: Jun 2013 | From: New Jersey
PrincessPeach06
♀ 39588
Member # 39588
Default  Posted: 12:19 PM, July 25th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

A woman at my WS's work was constantly texting him telling him he was hot, that if he ever left me she would leave her H, etc. She was a piece of work - living off welfare with a pregnant teenage daughter who had her baby then got pregnant again right away. I know her life was pretty screwed up but trying to purposefully ruin other people's lives I will never understand. :/


Me (BS): 35
Him (fWS): 36
Married 16 years 6 kids ages 15-6
DDay #1 (EA) July '08
DDay #2 (EA/ONS- different OW) May 15, 2013

Finally this is R 8/14/13

"Forgiving is a journey; the deeper the wound, the longer the journey".


Posts: 299 | Registered: Jun 2013
sunflowergirl30
♀ 28979
Member # 28979
Default  Posted: 12:35 PM, July 25th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

If some dude showed me his junk, got naked and shook his money maker..i would not ride his pole or slob his nasty nob! Its called character.

Temptation, shady people...that crap is everywhere. Mow laid it out. Wh jumped on it. I blame him 100% for that not mow's old trashy ass.

Is she a trashy slut? Ya but seriously trashy sluts are everywhere and if wh cant keep his dick in his pants anytime he comes across one. He is the problem not the ow.

Dont get me wrong I truly hate mow..but im not giving her or her magic vaj that much credit.

That she was just to persistent and tempting! Bullshit. Wh was just a weak dog.


Fate is a fickle bitch who dotes on irony.
Wh-lying, cheater now 37
Me- crazy bs now 38
2 teens and a dog
Mow- married old whore now 50


1st D-day EA w/mow our realtor 4-?-2007, 2nd D-day PA w/ same mow 5-29-2010


Posts: 1109 | Registered: Jul 2010 | From: Pacific Northwest
sunflowergirl30
♀ 28979
Member # 28979
Default  Posted: 12:45 PM, July 25th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Just had to add...i no longer trust ANYONE OF ANY GENDER or age. People to me are all out for themselves and what they can get. Im sure their are good ones but i am just to jaded now to give them a chance.

I hold people at a distance...always wondering what they want from me. Sad but true. When it comes to other women I have learned women can be each-others worst enemy. There is no sisterhood.


Fate is a fickle bitch who dotes on irony.
Wh-lying, cheater now 37
Me- crazy bs now 38
2 teens and a dog
Mow- married old whore now 50


1st D-day EA w/mow our realtor 4-?-2007, 2nd D-day PA w/ same mow 5-29-2010


Posts: 1109 | Registered: Jul 2010 | From: Pacific Northwest
Lonelygirl10
♀ 39850
Member # 39850
Default  Posted: 12:49 PM, July 25th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Just had to add...i no longer trust ANYONE OF ANY GENDER or age. People to me are all out for themselves and what they can get. Im sure their are good ones but i am just to jaded now to give them a chance.
I hold people at a distance...always wondering what they want from me. Sad but true. When it comes to other women I have learned women can be each-others worst enemy. There is no sisterhood.

This is how I feel too. It's sad. I used to always see the positive things in people, and now I go into conversations assuming the worst. Does it get better with time?


30 Bgf
Dday: April 2013
Relationship ended: January 2014

Posts: 1298 | Registered: Jul 2013
sunflowergirl30
♀ 28979
Member # 28979
Default  Posted: 12:55 PM, July 25th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

For me? Personally...no. It hasnt gotten better over the last 3 yrs. But i had trust issues before my wh did what he did. A lot of horrible things done to me as a small child by people. My wh also hasn't really changed or stopped adding new hurts no matter how minor they may seem to him...they still set me back.

So at this point...i have my guard up 24/7. Dont see that changing


Fate is a fickle bitch who dotes on irony.
Wh-lying, cheater now 37
Me- crazy bs now 38
2 teens and a dog
Mow- married old whore now 50


1st D-day EA w/mow our realtor 4-?-2007, 2nd D-day PA w/ same mow 5-29-2010


Posts: 1109 | Registered: Jul 2010 | From: Pacific Northwest
Rebreather
♀ 30817
Member # 30817
Default  Posted: 1:08 PM, July 25th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You know what is interesting to me, is that your husband waited all these years to tell you about Tits McGee. Looking back, you can see the lack of communication and lack of understanding of proper boundaries. He should have told her he was disgusted, stormed out, told their boss, and told you. It's the breadcrum trail of an affair. I hope he recognizes that in himself now.

[This message edited by Rebreather at 1:08 PM, July 25th (Thursday)]


Me BS
Him WH
2 ddays in '07
Recovering.
"The cure for the pain, is the pain." -Rumi

Posts: 6653 | Registered: Jan 2011
Faithful w/Love
♀ 33128
Member # 33128
Default  Posted: 1:19 PM, July 25th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

These are needy, attention driven women. That is all they are. They are quit sad in my eyes. How horrible that you have to behave less than to get attention. Men, really only fuck those type of women but rarely want them as a woman. They are not tactful or have class or self respect. Just sad.


BS(ME)40 WH(HIM)38
DD 20 and DS 15
Separated Aug 2012
Moved back home Oct 31 2013
Separated again June 2014. Heading toward divorce.
False R. Still Lying.

"You never know how strong you are until being strong is all you have left"


Posts: 2889 | Registered: Aug 2011
mchercheur
♀ 37735
Member # 37735
Default  Posted: 1:23 PM, July 25th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

In our case, OW ( who is 20 yrs younger than I, divorced, no kids) flaunted around work in tight low cut clothing all the time, & she sat next to WH @ work. She has a rep of having slept with quite a few of the men there.
According to one of our kids, who went to work with WH one day, OW could not keep her hands off WH, constantly touching him & giggling in his ear.
She pursued WH as if she had him in the crosshairs of her rifle. One day, she got in his car, told him she had a crush on him, threw herself on him, & said "Why don't I be your mistress?"
I know that WH could have said no.
But what kind of woman does something like this? Knowing that WH is married with 4 kids?
The answer is: someone who is selfish, who could not care less about anyone else , who puts her own instant gratification over everything else, & someone who has no morals.


Me: BW
Him: WH --Had 7 mo. PA with COW;
Married 20something years with kids
Trying to R

Posts: 1458 | Registered: Dec 2012
sunflowergirl30
♀ 28979
Member # 28979
Default  Posted: 1:37 PM, July 25th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

But really, whats that say about our wayward spouses who fall for that bullshit? Yes yes these women are everywhere but really whats that say about our wh? That they would bang the office tramp too or screw the easy skank down the street etc. i just hear thing after thing about these "seductresses" Is that even a word? Lol! It just gives them so much credit..and feels like a scape goat that they were just so tempting. It just bothers me. I bash mow for being a slut...yes i do but...wh gave her that opportunity and power. Im just saying..but im more mad at this point and disgusted at wh than mow. I dont believe to truly recover its better to flip all that on AP. if i cant get passed anger at wh then maybe its a sign he is a pos and this is all a deal breaker..cuz as sleazy as AP is

Whats that say about our spouses and their part in it all.

The sleazy wh who banged the office slut or the f'd up dirt bag wh who screwed another mans wife...im just sayin..


Fate is a fickle bitch who dotes on irony.
Wh-lying, cheater now 37
Me- crazy bs now 38
2 teens and a dog
Mow- married old whore now 50


1st D-day EA w/mow our realtor 4-?-2007, 2nd D-day PA w/ same mow 5-29-2010


Posts: 1109 | Registered: Jul 2010 | From: Pacific Northwest
Betrayed07
♀ 39650
Member # 39650
Default  Posted: 1:48 PM, July 25th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Rebreather - he did actually tell me about Tits McGee (LOL)years ago, but I pretended I didn't remember to see if I got the same story. It matched.

Trust me, I know my WH is at fault and HE is responsible for what HE did. I am just venting my anger right now at these women. I'm actually glad I'm feeling some anger b/c up until now I've been a depressed zombie. We met our new neighbor yesterday and she was already the "enemy" in my eyes. You're right, Sunflowergirl30 - people are out for themselves only. I am very jaded now as well.


Posts: 41 | Registered: Jun 2013 | From: New Jersey
Topic Posts: 34
Pages: 1 · 2

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