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brokenandconfuse posted 7/25/2013 09:40 AM

My Lawyer wants to get supervised visitations. As H is drinking heavily again, harassing me and being mean and rude in front of the kids, and drinking and driving. He also came and took our boat just to piss me off. I really hate to do that to him, but I need my kids to be safe.

lostmommy posted 7/25/2013 10:23 AM

I need my kids to be safe.

I think you answered your own question. When you're concerned about the safety of your children, supervised visitation is a MUST. If your lawyer thinks you have grounds for it, I say go for it. Who cares if you rock the apple cart? The safety of your children is #1. If your X is engaging in unsafe behaviors, then maybe having supervised visitation will be a wakeup call. I'm sorry you have to go through this.

suckstobeme posted 7/25/2013 12:08 PM

The safety of the kids is paramount. I think it's a big deal if the lawyer is pushing for it. Usually, one of the parents wants it and the lawyer will indicate it likely won't happen because he or she knows what will push the judges in that direction. Your lawyer must have a good inkling that you will get it.

Do as your attorney advises and know in your heart that it's for the good of the children. Drinking around them and driving after drinking are very dangerous choices. You may be a little desensitized to his drinking if you've had to live with it for a while. That's not a judgment or reflection of you - it's just reality when you are more used to a habit. When an outsider, like a lawyer or judge, looks at it, sometimes a very different perspective is offered.

These are his choices. Dont feel bad or guilty about yours.

Hopefully, if he is ordered to have supervised visits, he will take it seriously and get some help for his problems.

sparkysable posted 7/25/2013 13:21 PM

i agree with the other here. If your lawyer is recommending it, there is probably something to it.

I requested it, and my lawyer was like "um, no. a judge won't go for it because we've got nothing to back it up." I say go for it.

brokenandconfuse posted 7/25/2013 14:20 PM

You are right. I think that so many years of such craziness has desensatized me. Abnormal has become normal.

He was issued with a restraining order today and I am being supported by the abuse advocacy group, which has been a huge help and very enlightening on his actions and tactics. It is so sad:-(

He blames me for everything as absolutely nothing he does is his fault. Scare the kids..oh that is my fault to.

It is hard for me to accept that the man is a bit crazy. All of the alcohol has really made a mess of his brain.I am slowly accepting that my kids will never really have their father. He just isn't capable of seeing past himself.

Amazonia posted 7/25/2013 17:47 PM

If a judge will agree to it, there's probably good reason behind it. Protect your kids.