This May, my husband went to France and had an affair with one of the co-workers there. She was assigned to be his gopher, be sure he has his lunches prepared, deliver towels and keys and fans to his apartment there.
As time goes on, her position will
She is a member of the administrative staff of the Training program that he is hired to work in and would be going there twice a year.
I later realized that she was present when he worked in Lyon in 2010 and 2012.
Although he claims they never went that far, they were traipsing around town, wining and dining as so called friends.
When he returned there this spring, they became intimate.
While home, I sensed something was going on and confronted him via phone.
He denied it. When he returned home and I confronted him, he was busted.
We've been going thru hell for 3 months He is still calling this affair a slip, when I now know that you cannot have an ongoing slip thats been going on for 3 years.
Here is my question.
I want so much for us to get past this affair thru much talk and counseling.
However, its hard for me to feel safe knowing that my husband has been contracted to return back to France next spring and perhaps take over this program which means he'd be there twice a year.
Since this girl is part of the staff, she WILL be present when he returns.
This job will bring a lot of income to our future.
However it could destroy our marriage.
He says he is done with her.
He will no longer socialize with her.
He will keep it professional.
No lunches, no dinners, no walks. Thats how it started.
However she is s husband steeler. How can I trust my husband with her manipulations?
If he is there often, things are bound to break down.
Do I have the right to ask him to quit this position
He says I can go with him, but I do not want to be put in this position of being the keeper of the gate.
I feel that no matter what happens, we are screwed.
If he goes with out .
If he goes with me.
If he quits this position.
It all feels there is no winning here.
My heart is so broken.
Please help me with this dilemma.