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so tired of the worry.....

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staying hopefull posted 7/25/2013 10:27 AM

H did some questionable things while out of town last week...went to a strip club, took a picture of his penis, text friends about "stippers" etc...He said the picture was for himself and no one else..

He is apologizing profusely, texting me he loves me constantly, saying he would never do anything to hurt our family, he loves us so much...etc..etc...however I am just SO sick and tired of worrying about if he is cheating, if he has secret online profiles etc...

All of this is dredging up feelings I had 9 years ago. I am just TIRED of it! I am tired of this sick feeling in my stomach, I just want it to go away...

Sometimes I day dream about just leaving him so the worry would be over, but I just can't do that to my family...It really isn't that bad I guess...its just been a tough week...

sunflowergirl30 posted 7/25/2013 10:31 AM

Im tired of it too. I tell myself "it isnt that bad too" but it is. It is.

nowiknow23 posted 7/25/2013 11:50 AM

((((staying hopefull)))) I just have to ask - why would he need a picture of his penis for himself? It's not like he's ever "away" from it. He can look down at any time and see it.

Sending you so much strength, honey.

staying hopefull posted 7/25/2013 12:00 PM

I agree...I said the same thing when I found the picture. Why the hell did you have to take a picture of it...couldn't you just look down!
He swears he didn't post it online..didn't send it to anyone etc...but I still just don't get it.
I knew he went to a strip club with some friends while on this business trip and that really didn't bother me until I found that picture on his phone. His behavior while on that trip just disgusts me.
Its just dredging up all kinds of horrible feelings. I don't like feeling like this.
He is being SO nice and SO apologetic...I guess I should be thankful for that.

Lonelygirl10 posted 7/25/2013 12:46 PM

That seems really, really strange to me. I would never take a picture of myself like that unless I intended to show someone else. There's just no point to it. What was his explanation? Is there any way you can check his text messages to verify that?

staying hopefull posted 7/25/2013 13:38 PM

I agree! Finding that pic of his erect penis is what really took me over the edge. I have always been open to watching some porn occasionally or even didn't care about the occasional visit to a strip club when at these conventions...but to me taking a picture of your private areas takes it over the top and really puts a lot of doubt in my mind.
He says he feels awful about it and will never do it again...but its hard for me not to wonder if he was up to something else...

[This message edited by staying hopefull at 1:39 PM, July 25th (Thursday)]

wanttogoforward posted 7/25/2013 13:42 PM

Can you check to see if he sent the picture? Some cell phone plans let you look online to see usage and ones like Sprint tell you how many pics have been sent.... If you find a pic you can even call to see... if you are the account holder they will tell you the time and day it was sent... maybe not to who it was sent but then that doesn't likely matter if he sent it at all!

staying hopefull posted 7/25/2013 13:53 PM

His phone is a company phone so I do not have access to any records.
I searched his phone to see if I could tell if he sent the picture and couldn't find anything.
I wish I could believe him that it wasn't sent to anyone..but its just so hard to believe that someone would do that just to "see what it looked like" Look in the freakin mirror...dumbass..

[This message edited by staying hopefull at 1:54 PM, July 25th (Thursday)]

nowiknow23 posted 7/25/2013 13:58 PM

((((SH)))) I'm so sorry you're awash in those feelings again. I truly hope his actions start matching his words.

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