If you and your spouse choose to R, the following resources will help you have a better, stronger marriage:
Jammy, your story makes me so sad. Yes, he messed up, and he needs to own it. Cheating is a choice. Like others said, you can't make him admit it, but you can sure change your own behavior to where he has to make some life changing choices.
Says hes being framed for the rest.
Nobody is so stupid to believe this...only waywards are so stupid or desperate to hope
the betrayed spouse will believe the ridiculous lies. Don't even believe this for one second...it is straight out of the cheaters' handbook.
We know how painful it is to be betrayed by a spouse, after being loyal through thick and thin, sacrificing one's own career to raise children, and trusting they are mature and loyal too.
Have you read the Healing Library? It is found in the yellow box at the upper left corner of your screen. Read up on the 180. It will help strengthen you and perhaps your WH will come to his senses when he sees you are not going to put up with his shenanigans, but you are going to get on with your own life, with or without him.
You also need to set boundaries, and requirements for him to meet in order for you to stay in the M with him. YOu will get ideas for that also in the healing library.
Here is a link to SerJR's Tactical Primer.
Here is also a link to a thread called "Great Posts for Newbies to Read."
These posts should help give you some clarity and plans.
One more thing: Your WH sounds like he may have issues with sexual addiction. This is a progressive thing, and it sounds like he has become progressively worse.
Hugs for you (((((Jammy19)))))
His Needs Her Needs by Willard Harley
Love Busters by Willard Harley
(for husbands) Becoming the Ultimate Husband by Reb Bradley