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Newest Member: Mercedes66 (46046)

User Topic: Book rec on narcissism?
♀ 39193
Member # 39193
Default  Posted: 5:00 PM, July 25th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hi everyone,

I never knew my XWH was a narcissist until I started reading on this site. I'd like to learn more and there are many books on this topic.

Can you recommend one that will help me understand and deal with the aftermath/pain of having been in a relationship with a narc? So many of the books seem to be geared toward "living with" one, or being in a relationship with one. For me that no longer applies... he's long gone, but the wounds he inflicted are still here.



Me: Enjoying life
Him: Someone else's problem

Follow your heart, but take your brain with you. ~ Alfred Adler

Posts: 1049 | Registered: May 2013 | From: Oregon
♀ 39381
Member # 39381
Default  Posted: 9:09 AM, August 16th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

"Why is it always about you"

2DS, 2DD
BS-Me 32
WH-Him 43
DDay-All 14 years of our relationship. 3PA's, 3 one night stands, and 6 EA's and still counting as we go. Gained enough strength to face it 11/2012

Getting Divorced

Posts: 101 | Registered: May 2013 | From: United States
♀ 1330
Member # 1330
Default  Posted: 10:02 AM, August 16th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage



FBS: Married 20 years, 2 daughters 25 and 22. Divorced by the grace of GOD.
D-Days: 2/23/93; 10/11/97; 3/5/03
Ex & OW Broke up 12-10
"An erection does not count as personal growth."

Posts: 29739 | Registered: Apr 2003 | From: Massachusetts
♀ 40530
Member # 40530
Default  Posted: 11:21 PM, September 2nd (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I had a counselor recommend "The Sociopath Next Door" recently. I haven't been able to purchase it yet though.

Me: 43
WH: 47
M: 20 yrs Together 24
4 kids: 13, 15, 15, 17
DD: 6/24/13 PA
Status: Separated. WH living with OW.

Posts: 7 | Registered: Sep 2013 | From: Florida
♀ 34146
Member # 34146
Default  Posted: 6:52 PM, September 3rd (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Though not specifically about breaking up with an NPD, "Getting Past Your Breakup" helped me.

I found it helpful to learn a ton about NPD/ASPD as it helped me realize that what happened in my marriage wasn't my fault and there was nothing I could have done to achieve a different outcome.

"The Sociopath Next Door" was helpful, as were "Emotional Vampires" and "Narcissistic Lovers."

When a specific passage really spoke to me, I wrote it down (on paper in a journal, as well as saved as an e-mail draft) so I could reread as necessary to help me through this.

I know there were more books that were helpful -- I'll try to remember to check the list of books I read and repost. But I found a bunch of them by seeing other recommended books on amazon.

You can get these at your library if funds are low.

Good luck recovering -- it can be done!!!

Me: BW, divorced, now fabulous and happy!

Married: 11 years, no kids

Character is destiny

Posts: 3541 | Registered: Dec 2011
Member # 35912
Default  Posted: 2:43 PM, September 4th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Narcissistic Lovers: How to Cope, Recover and Move On Paperback

you can read the first chapter on Amazon

Posts: 510 | Registered: Jun 2012
♀ 39193
Member # 39193
Default  Posted: 12:56 AM, September 22nd (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I just happened to look in here and saw these responses. Thanks! When no one responded initially I just continued looking on amazon until I found "Narcissistic Lovers". Ordered it immediately and it has been a tremendous help. I already had "Getting Past Your Breakup" and its great too.

I will check out the titles you guys have mentioned.

Thanks again!

Me: Enjoying life
Him: Someone else's problem

Follow your heart, but take your brain with you. ~ Alfred Adler

Posts: 1049 | Registered: May 2013 | From: Oregon
♀ 33606
Member # 33606
Default  Posted: 11:03 PM, September 22nd (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Splitting was the most helpful book to me.

I also liked the Narcissist Next Door. I'm now reading The Wizard of Oz and Other Narcissists. It's good.

Posts: 1764 | Registered: Oct 2011
Topic Posts: 8

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