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T/j on Boys question

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 jrc1963 (original poster member #26531) posted at 2:53 AM on Friday, July 26th, 2013

Ok... All of you with boys... I didn't want to put this on Unfound-y's post...

My DS is 11 about to be 12 and is such a complete air head!!! I mean a total space cadet... I am afraid at times that he's going to walk into traffic.

Also, he talks out loud to himself... ALL. THE. TIME!

Tell me he'll out grow the airheaded thing!!!

Me: BSO - 56 Him: FWSO - 79 DS - 23 D-Day - 12-11-09, R - he finally came homeYour life is an Occasion. Rise to it. - Mr. Magorium, "Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium"

posts: 26375   ·   registered: Dec. 14th, 2009   ·   location: Michigan
id 6421831
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SuperDuperWonderboy ( member #34716) posted at 3:04 AM on Friday, July 26th, 2013

I like trucks.

Wait, what was the question?

I am sure he will grow out of it. My son's only 8 so I haven't been there yet.

My Friends call me Wonderboy--That's Mr. SuperduperWonderboy to you Tred.

posts: 1356   ·   registered: Feb. 2nd, 2012   ·   location: Everett
id 6421849
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unfound ( member #12802) posted at 3:09 AM on Friday, July 26th, 2013

Mine were the same. I swear every we left the house we would have to go through a check from head to toe so we wouldn't have to make a second trip back for forgotten bags, socks and yes, underwear.

They didn't talk to themselves so much, but sang. They still do. .

ka-mai
*************
Kids on the playground can be so cruel. “Get off the swings you’re like 50, and stop talking about Soundgarden, we don't even know what that is."

posts: 14949   ·   registered: Nov. 29th, 2006   ·   location: mercury's underboob
id 6421860
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Holly-Isis ( member #13447) posted at 3:15 AM on Friday, July 26th, 2013

Yeah. My son is 13. A bit naive compared to the other boys his age I see. Some people call it immature but it's not really that.

He is SOOO what you posted and has been since about 11yo. I could live with it if he just did his schoolwork...that aspect of airheadedness I can live without.

ETA- the talking to himself is waning. He does have his own theme song that he kind of hums though.

[This message edited by Holly-Isis at 9:16 PM, July 25th (Thursday)]

"Being in love" first moved them to promise fidelity: this quieter love enables them to keep the promise. *CS Lewis*

posts: 11713   ·   registered: Jan. 26th, 2007   ·   location: Just a fool in limbo
id 6421868
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kernel ( member #27035) posted at 3:41 AM on Friday, July 26th, 2013

My son was never that way. My oldest DD was a total airhead as a teen though. Teaching her to drive was one butt-clenching experience, let me tell you.

eta: She did grow out of it. She's a pretty level-headed person and the best I know at living on a budget and planning for future expenses. Now she drives like she's on a NASCAR track. Still butt-clenching, just in a different way.

[This message edited by kernel at 9:44 PM, July 25th (Thursday)]

"On particularly rough days when I'm sure I can't possibly endure, I like to remind myself that my track record for getting through bad days so far is 100% and that's pretty good."

posts: 5379   ·   registered: Jan. 3rd, 2010   ·   location: Midwest
id 6421915
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Sad in AZ ( member #24239) posted at 4:47 AM on Friday, July 26th, 2013

OMG, yes; the airhead thing. It was infuriating because my DS was always so mature and logical. I was sure that one day he'd leave the house for school in his underwear. I was constantly getting calls from him because he'd forgotten something. Unfortunately for him, at that point I was working out of town all but 8 days a month, so I was not around to pick up the slack for him. He had to get his act together.

He also talked to himself--carried on full-blown conversations. He had this weird tick too--when he got excited about something, he'd do this weird finger-twiddling thing, often in front of his forehead I can't adequately describe it. It was completely unconscious--he didn't realize he was doing it.

I miss those days...

You are important and you matter. Your feelings matter. Your voice matters. Your story matters. Your life matters. Always.

Me: FBS (no longer betrayed nor a spouse)-63
D-day: 2007 (two years before finding SI)
S: 6/2010; D: 3/2011

posts: 25351   ·   registered: Jun. 3rd, 2009   ·   location: Arizona
id 6421998
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Mommato4 ( member #15906) posted at 4:56 AM on Friday, July 26th, 2013

My son is the same age and is totally the same plus I always have to remind him to change his underwear and socks daily.

I swear if I didn't...ewww. It's just gross.

BS-me 34
XH-doesn't matter
4 kids
Divorced-7/25/2008

posts: 1414   ·   registered: Aug. 23rd, 2007   ·   location: PNW country
id 6422013
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StrongerOne ( member #36915) posted at 5:10 AM on Friday, July 26th, 2013

Best solution to kids forgetting stuff: consequences. Don't go back for their stuff. Don't tote stuff out to school. Even if you can, even if its easy. You're not doing them any favors in the long run (I work with college students -- trust me when I say that they need to learn this before they get to college or to the working world!)

"I'm sorry you forgot X. You will have to do without it. If you like, I will help you figure out some ways to be sure you remember to take your stuff."

Repeat as needed.

DDay Feb 2011.
In R.

posts: 1020   ·   registered: Sep. 22nd, 2012
id 6422021
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stilllovinghim ( member #29971) posted at 5:50 AM on Friday, July 26th, 2013

Please see the following link for more info:

http://www.time.com/time/health/article/0,8599,1973532,00.html

Gently,

Cut them some slack. Their brains are still developing and when the hippocampus is not yet developed, it results in poor judgement. In Alzheimer's patients, it shrinks. That's why you'll see an elderly patient start yelling bc there's no applssauce or peeing in public when they don't have incontinence.

I think for anyone undergoing hormonal changes as well as growth and development, these things can seem not quite as obvious to a fully grown adult.

I mean, going through pregnancy or having your monthly or going through "the change" admittedly there are times where *we* forget and do dumb shit too, right? Its embarrassing to be asked why you're acting stupid and know you fucked up but can't give a straight answer.

[This message edited by stilllovinghim at 11:54 PM, July 25th (Thursday)]

“You have a choice. Live or die.Every breath is a choice. Every minute is a choice. Every time you don't throw yourself down the stairs, that's a choice. Every time you don't crash your car, you re-enlist.”
― Chuck Palahniuk, Survivor

posts: 1944   ·   registered: Oct. 29th, 2010
id 6422058
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tushnurse ( member #21101) posted at 4:50 PM on Friday, July 26th, 2013

I have a 16yo with ADHD, and he tends to forget obvious things, and until he got his drivers permit, he didn't even know which direction to go out of the driveway to get to school!!!!

If he is talking to himself to help him remember what he is supposed to be doing, that is actually a very good thing. If he is talking to himself about the next thing he's gonna build on minecraft, well then not so good.

I have taught my son many organizational skills. He does really well with lists, until things become habit. Seriously when he was 8-9 he got out of the habit of brushing his teeth, so we had a list on his mirror of to do's every morning.

Get up

Go to the bathroom

Get dressed

Brush teeth

Eat breakfast

Put shoes on

Get out to bus by 7:30

So now he's a list maker, and learns visually too, so he is big on flashcards, just like his momma.

Oh and as far as the airhead thing with driving, he went to take his test yesterday, and ran a stop sign, and drove on the wrong side of road!!!!

Me: FBSHim: FWSKids: 23 & 27 Married for 32 years now, was 16 at the time.D-Day Sept 26 2008R'd in about 2 years. Old Vet now.

posts: 20380   ·   registered: Oct. 1st, 2008   ·   location: St. Louis
id 6422524
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dameia ( member #36072) posted at 9:17 PM on Friday, July 26th, 2013

My DS is 8, is a complete airhead and also talks out loud to himself.

I actually had him tested through the schools for some sort of learning disability. Turns out he's off the charts smart. I'm talking super high IQ...we were all amazed, because he really does act like a dingbat.

He also has ADHD, so maybe that contributes? I'm not sure. His doctor thinks that he's just like the absent-minded professor....brilliant but a total airhead.

Me: BS
D-Day: 7/7/12

Trust is like paper. Once it's crumpled it can never be perfect again.

posts: 1470   ·   registered: Jul. 9th, 2012
id 6423003
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SoVerySadNow ( member #36711) posted at 9:36 PM on Friday, July 26th, 2013

One of my boys was very distracted and sometimes talked to himself. It was when he was about 10-13. I thought maybe he had ear infections and couldn't hear - nope, all fine. And tested extremely bright.

He outgrew the talking to himself, is less distracted, but I strongly suspected during his 15-16th years that the intelligence test was wrong. Lol!

Me:BW
Him:WH
D-day(s),after years of TT and Gaslighting was Labor Day Weekend 2012, continuing for a week after. *Dammit! More TT 3/9/13
Really trending toward D- planning about it is my "happy place" now.

posts: 1292   ·   registered: Sep. 4th, 2012   ·   location: Sunny Florida
id 6423032
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tushnurse ( member #21101) posted at 11:29 PM on Friday, July 26th, 2013

Oh yeah my airhead is off the charts genius too.

Me: FBSHim: FWSKids: 23 & 27 Married for 32 years now, was 16 at the time.D-Day Sept 26 2008R'd in about 2 years. Old Vet now.

posts: 20380   ·   registered: Oct. 1st, 2008   ·   location: St. Louis
id 6423182
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jjsr ( member #34353) posted at 11:37 PM on Friday, July 26th, 2013

Yep raised two boys. The oldest had a year like that, the youngest is 21 and I think just now growing out of it.

Me: BS
Him: WS
Married since 1985
Parents to 2 adult sons and 3 of the cutest cats you have ever seen
D-day 8/6/11 Truth about ONS and 9/21/11 Truth about EA and 10/28/15 NEW dday.
Just surviving.

posts: 1849   ·   registered: Dec. 31st, 2011   ·   location: midwest now.
id 6423194
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 jrc1963 (original poster member #26531) posted at 12:02 AM on Saturday, July 27th, 2013

Yes, my son tested very high IQ and is in all the gifted/accelerated classes at school.

He's very bright...

He's often very passionate about a specific topic and learns it inside and out before moving on to the next subject.

Right now he's addicted to Mindcraft.

Me: BSO - 56 Him: FWSO - 79 DS - 23 D-Day - 12-11-09, R - he finally came homeYour life is an Occasion. Rise to it. - Mr. Magorium, "Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium"

posts: 26375   ·   registered: Dec. 14th, 2009   ·   location: Michigan
id 6423222
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JanetS ( member #2766) posted at 12:24 AM on Saturday, July 27th, 2013

Oh yeah, I remember those days.

I carpooled kids to school. If they were running late I'd have to go get the other kids, and get THEM to school on time, then come back for the late one (or both sometimes). No sense of recognizing the repercussions, till I started charging them "cab fare".

They just didn't have a clue somedays. I worried that I had stupid kids. How in the world could "I" sire stupid kids????

The bad news is that after the airhead stage you might get the "I don't give a damn" stage. You want them to apply themselves at school...they want to party and be cool. Drove me absolutely nuts.

Now they are in their early 20's....new issues. 25 is the age they mature (so they say), so I'll let you know how that turns out!

posts: 3077   ·   registered: Nov. 25th, 2003   ·   location: Niagara-on-the-Lake, Canada
id 6423251
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Reality ( member #39077) posted at 12:25 AM on Saturday, July 27th, 2013

Minecraft is awesome! I have three boys - 17, 13, 11 - and they'll build things that are completely amazing in that game. So will my girls. You can learn so much engineering in it.

And yep, it's the hormone tsunami kicking in. My youngest has his own theme song, too - kind of a Buddhist monk drone bit. He gets engrossed in what he's doing and the rest of reality goes bye-bye. All my kids did it at the start of puberty.

posts: 292   ·   registered: Apr. 24th, 2013
id 6423253
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