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Ariabook posted 7/25/2013 21:05 PM

Right?

We parents can have the same bond with girls as we do with boys. There is such thing as a Mama's girl.... I think.

Are girls really THAT bad? Why is it that parents seem to boast and consider themselves lucky when they only have boys?

Are girls that hard to parent?

[This message edited by Ariabook at 9:06 PM, July 25th (Thursday)]

Holly-Isis posted 7/25/2013 21:11 PM

Each of my kids have their own blessings and challenges.

I will say though, that DD holds a special place in my heart. MrH says she's what I would've been without the abuse and neglect in my childhood.

She is very much a mama's girl. That might change (she's only 8yo) but I'm loving it for now.

She's fire and sweetness. Frustration and hilarity.

TBH she's easier to bond with than DS, partially because she talks so much where you have to draw him out...and since he's 13 it's getting harder and harder.

unfound posted 7/25/2013 21:12 PM

ds was a piece of cake compared to my boys. Not because of any other reason than I understand girls (I was one once ), while boys are like little smelly aliens to me.

hopelessromantic posted 7/25/2013 21:19 PM

uh...um....two teenage daughters here - wishing some days I was blessed with a chance to see what the fuss with boys was all about.

I was a teenage girl once too, but o.m.g. I'm pretty sure I wasn't this bad

no mama's girls here since they were about 9 or 10

metamorphisis posted 7/25/2013 21:30 PM

I've got one of each. I don't consider one better than the other. They are individuals with their own strengths and challenges. There are certain things I worry about more as the mom of a girl, and certain things I worry about more for my son. Basically.. I just worry all the time.

meaniemouse posted 7/25/2013 21:41 PM

I have three daughters, 30, 26 and 23. I can't imagine my life without them but it ain't easy. I raised them to be independent, open-minded, outspoken and tenacious. While that has made them all pretty amazing and successful it's also made them hard as hell to parent. Or at least pretty hard to be their mother at times. And if I had it to do all over again, I wouldn't change a thing.

IRN2006 posted 7/25/2013 22:40 PM

I don't think girls are bad. But, I was thankful that my first child was a boy.

My mom has untreated moderate/severe depression her whole life. It's also likely that she has a personality disorder.

Needless to say, my relationship with her was unhealthy and rocky at times.

So, yes, I was afraid of having girls. Mostly I didn't want them to end up like I did (I unknowingly married an SA and spent the better part of my mid-20's-early 30's in therapy).

I didn't want to have a relationship with them that was similar to the mother-daughter experience I had growing up.

Lionne posted 7/25/2013 22:47 PM

I adore my boys and think I would have had challenges raising a girl (hair). But I would have dearly loved to have a daughter to love and share girly things with. I imagine the joy (and fear) that might come with having a grandchild from your daughter would create a bond that can't be replicated with grandchild with a son.

But, we don't get to choose, unless we adopt, that is a special blessing in and of itself, so we enjoy and love the kids we have.

Mommato4 posted 7/25/2013 22:49 PM

As you see below I have 2 of each. It's been a rough couple of years for me with my girls.

My girls are such the total opposites of each other. I struggle with my youngest DS but I think it's because she is so not like me when I was that age.

I'm glad I have a little break with my boys for a few years before the teens. My only issue I deal with is trying to get him to shower more and wear deodorant.

TattoodChinaDoll posted 7/25/2013 22:52 PM

I have 3 girls. When I was pregnant with the oldest I wanted a boy. I was a wrestler in jr. high and high school. I never did girly things. I thought I could relate to boys better. When we found out she was a girl I was a little upset. Now I can't imagine having a boy. If I were to have another child, and it was a girl, I would never feel like I'm missing anything. DD7 and DD4 play ice hockey. DD7 is on the travel team. DD4 and DD22 months beat the crap out of each other and laugh their asses off. They think farting is funny. And if we walk into Sephora they want to put on makeup and come out looking and smelling like French whores. Will they be giant PITAs a teenagers? Probably at some point. It's one of those things that I'm just going to have to wait and see. I wasn't like that while WH's cousin had to be called out of school sick because her flat iron broke. Ok...now you got me teary thinking about how much I love my girls...for now...

[This message edited by TattoodChinaDoll at 10:54 PM, July 25th (Thursday)]

Sad in AZ posted 7/25/2013 22:55 PM

I cannot imagine having a daughter. I was beyond thrilled that I had a son. I know I was a complete enigma to my mother; we were never in sync when I was growing up. She got along famously with her sisters, and my sister and I hated each other (we still don't get along well.) I loved to be alone; my hobby was bird watching. Mom could just not relate.

Apropos scardyKat's observation about granddaughters, I was much, much closer to my paternal grandmother than I was to my maternal grandmother.

authenticnow posted 7/26/2013 05:05 AM

I always wanted a daughter. I'm not close with my mom and I guess I always had this idea of what a mother/daughter relationship should be like.

People would always say 'girls are so tough, wait for the teenage years'. Well, they came in like a lamb and people would say, 'wait, you'll see!'. I spent a few years waiting for the shoe to drop and it never did. Smooth sailing, awesome kid, we are extremely close, always have been.

I stand by the idea that it depends on the kid. They are individuals and their personalities will be what they are.

DD and I are a lot alike. I get her, she gets me. She is a 21 year old young woman who I would choose for a friend in a second if she wasn't my daughter.

DS and I are close. He talks to me about things and I mother him and obviously I love him, but sometimes when he talks it's on such a different wavelength I might as well be talking to an alien.

But he makes me laugh and smile and there's nothing like the feeling of hugging your son when he's 6 feet tall towering over you and he's squeezing you into a bear hug and you think 'this is my boy!'.

Unagie posted 7/26/2013 06:11 AM

I'm my daddys little angel, since I'm the youngest but I'm definitely a mama's girl. My mom is my best friend.I have no kids to compare it to though.

StillGoing posted 7/26/2013 07:20 AM

Daughters look great until they turn into teenagers. After seeing what some coworkers have to deal with I'm glad we just have to deal with the typical boy shit involving improvised explosives, police, petty theft, etc.

Lalagirl posted 7/26/2013 07:55 AM

She's fire and sweetness. Frustration and hilarity.

I. Love. This.

Describes my DDs, especially my yougest (DD's are now 29 and 26) to a tee.

My girls went through turbulence as teens, but that was hormones, and I'm sure boys go through it to some degree as well. A little rebellion (DD 29 got a tongue piercing behind my back...and I think that was the "worst" thing she did...and for that, I am thankful). She was (and is) more of a daddy's girl.

My youngest DD was a spitfire from age 2-6 - fully equipped with a firey temper and she was a biter. But she mellowed out after that and was definitely a mommy's girl. Today, she has an 18-month-old DD - who is JUST LIKE HER (hence the "curse" we impart on our children, "wait till you have one of your own, may they be just like you") But in all seriousness, in spite of DD's firey self, she is also an old soul, a loving person, and so intelligent (as is my grandddaughter).

My oldest DD was always mellow (a couple of smart-mouthed teen years, but no biggie) - she now has a 4 yo DS who is sweet but...he's a 4-year-old boy...nuff said. Her DD is 8 months old and babbles constantly - but it's early - too hard to tell what her true personality is yet.

So I had one of each - a daddy's girl and a mommy's girl. But both really good girls. They hated each other as teens but are now very close. They share a common bond - infertility - both needed assistance to have their miracles.

So after that long-winded response, NO, GIRLS ARE NOT THAT BAD. They're actually quite awesome!

[This message edited by Lalagirl at 7:56 AM, July 26th (Friday)]

JanaGreen posted 7/26/2013 08:01 AM

I have an almost 4-year-old daughter. She's definitely my girl - she loves her daddy but she and I are very tight.

I think all kids are different. My daughter loves superheroes and dressed as Iron Man last Halloween. She likes stereotypical girl things too, but she's very much her own person, and fearless, brave, and kind of wild. My niece (who's now 18) was very similar, while my nephew was quiet, calm, easygoing, and sensitive to others' feelings. Every kid is different. I'll confess I'm NOT looking forward to the teenage years but that's just because I remember what I was like as a teen. But I in no way feel like having a daughter is inferior to having a son - I don't know why anyone would think that. I also don't think I'm luckier than someone with a son. I think people should just be grateful for what they have.