We parents can have the same bond with girls as we do with boys. There is such thing as a Mama's girl.... I think.
Are girls really THAT bad? Why is it that parents seem to boast and consider themselves lucky when they only have boys?
Are girls that hard to parent?
[This message edited by Ariabook at 9:06 PM, July 25th (Thursday)]
I will say though, that DD holds a special place in my heart. MrH says she's what I would've been without the abuse and neglect in my childhood.
She is very much a mama's girl. That might change (she's only 8yo) but I'm loving it for now.
She's fire and sweetness. Frustration and hilarity.
TBH she's easier to bond with than DS, partially because she talks so much where you have to draw him out...and since he's 13 it's getting harder and harder.
I was a teenage girl once too, but o.m.g. I'm pretty sure I wasn't this bad
no mama's girls here since they were about 9 or 10
My mom has untreated moderate/severe depression her whole life. It's also likely that she has a personality disorder.
Needless to say, my relationship with her was unhealthy and rocky at times.
So, yes, I was afraid of having girls. Mostly I didn't want them to end up like I did (I unknowingly married an SA and spent the better part of my mid-20's-early 30's in therapy).
I didn't want to have a relationship with them that was similar to the mother-daughter experience I had growing up.
But, we don't get to choose, unless we adopt, that is a special blessing in and of itself, so we enjoy and love the kids we have.
My girls are such the total opposites of each other. I struggle with my youngest DS but I think it's because she is so not like me when I was that age.
I'm glad I have a little break with my boys for a few years before the teens. My only issue I deal with is trying to get him to shower more and wear deodorant.
[This message edited by TattoodChinaDoll at 10:54 PM, July 25th (Thursday)]
D-Day: 12/21/2011 Confronted him: 12/22/2011
This is the most difficult thing I've ever done.
Apropos scardyKat's observation about granddaughters, I was much, much closer to my paternal grandmother than I was to my maternal grandmother.
Me: FBS (no longer betrayed nor a spouse)-62 Him: WXH-62 D-day: 2007 (two years before finding SI) S: 6/2010; D: 3/2011
People would always say 'girls are so tough, wait for the teenage years'. Well, they came in like a lamb and people would say, 'wait, you'll see!'. I spent a few years waiting for the shoe to drop and it never did. Smooth sailing, awesome kid, we are extremely close, always have been.
I stand by the idea that it depends on the kid. They are individuals and their personalities will be what they are.
DD and I are a lot alike. I get her, she gets me. She is a 21 year old young woman who I would choose for a friend in a second if she wasn't my daughter.
DS and I are close. He talks to me about things and I mother him and obviously I love him, but sometimes when he talks it's on such a different wavelength I might as well be talking to an alien.
But he makes me laugh and smile and there's nothing like the feeling of hugging your son when he's 6 feet tall towering over you and he's squeezing you into a bear hug and you think 'this is my boy!'.
- Ricky
I. Love. This.
Describes my DDs, especially my yougest (DD's are now 29 and 26) to a tee.
My girls went through turbulence as teens, but that was hormones, and I'm sure boys go through it to some degree as well. A little rebellion (DD 29 got a tongue piercing behind my back...and I think that was the "worst" thing she did...and for that, I am thankful). She was (and is) more of a daddy's girl.
My youngest DD was a spitfire from age 2-6 - fully equipped with a firey temper and she was a biter. But she mellowed out after that and was definitely a mommy's girl. Today, she has an 18-month-old DD - who is JUST LIKE HER (hence the "curse" we impart on our children, "wait till you have one of your own, may they be just like you") But in all seriousness, in spite of DD's firey self, she is also an old soul, a loving person, and so intelligent (as is my grandddaughter).
My oldest DD was always mellow (a couple of smart-mouthed teen years, but no biggie) - she now has a 4 yo DS who is sweet but...he's a 4-year-old boy...nuff said. Her DD is 8 months old and babbles constantly - but it's early - too hard to tell what her true personality is yet.
So I had one of each - a daddy's girl and a mommy's girl. But both really good girls. They hated each other as teens but are now very close. They share a common bond - infertility - both needed assistance to have their miracles.
So after that long-winded response, NO, GIRLS ARE NOT THAT BAD. They're actually quite awesome!
[This message edited by Lalagirl at 7:56 AM, July 26th (Friday)]
I think all kids are different. My daughter loves superheroes and dressed as Iron Man last Halloween. She likes stereotypical girl things too, but she's very much her own person, and fearless, brave, and kind of wild. My niece (who's now 18) was very similar, while my nephew was quiet, calm, easygoing, and sensitive to others' feelings. Every kid is different. I'll confess I'm NOT looking forward to the teenage years but that's just because I remember what I was like as a teen. But I in no way feel like having a daughter is inferior to having a son - I don't know why anyone would think that. I also don't think I'm luckier than someone with a son. I think people should just be grateful for what they have.
