Topic: Girls are awesome...
Member # 39669
| Posted: 9:05 PM, July 25th (Thursday), 2013|
We parents can have the same bond with girls as we do with boys. There is such thing as a Mama's girl.... I think.
Are girls really THAT bad? Why is it that parents seem to boast and consider themselves lucky when they only have boys?
Are girls that hard to parent?
[This message edited by Ariabook at 9:06 PM, July 25th (Thursday)]
Posts: 75 | Registered: Jun 2013 | From: Newwhere
Member # 13447
| Posted: 9:11 PM, July 25th (Thursday), 2013|
Each of my kids have their own blessings and challenges.
I will say though, that DD holds a special place in my heart. MrH says she's what I would've been without the abuse and neglect in my childhood.
She is very much a mama's girl. That might change (she's only 8yo) but I'm loving it for now.
She's fire and sweetness. Frustration and hilarity.
TBH she's easier to bond with than DS, partially because she talks so much where you have to draw him out...and since he's 13 it's getting harder and harder.
"Being in love" first moved them to promise fidelity: this quieter love enables them to keep the promise. *CS Lewis*
Posts: 11650 | Registered: Jan 2007 | From: Just a fool in limbo
Member # 12802
| Posted: 9:12 PM, July 25th (Thursday), 2013|
ds was a piece of cake compared to my boys. Not because of any other reason than I understand girls (I was one once
), while boys are like little smelly aliens to me.
Kids on the playground can be so cruel. “Get off the swings you’re like 50, and stop talking about Soundgarden, we don't even know what that is."
Posts: 14938 | Registered: Nov 2006 | From: mercury's underboob
Member # 25415
| Posted: 9:19 PM, July 25th (Thursday), 2013|
uh...um....two teenage daughters here - wishing some days I was blessed with a chance to see what the fuss with boys was all about.
I was a teenage girl once too, but o.m.g. I'm pretty sure I wasn't this bad
no mama's girls here since they were about 9 or 10
BS-Me FWS-him (bigdog)
D-Day 5/3/09 TT til 6/22/09
Behind every woman scorned is a man who made her that way.
Posts: 2836 | Registered: Sep 2009 | From: Midwest
Member # 12041
| Posted: 9:30 PM, July 25th (Thursday), 2013|
I've got one of each. I don't consider one better than the other. They are individuals with their own strengths and challenges. There are certain things I worry about more as the mom of a girl, and certain things I worry about more for my son. Basically.. I just worry all the time.
Go softly my sweet friend. You will always be a part of who I am.
Posts: 51956 | Registered: Sep 2006
Member # 10798
| Posted: 9:41 PM, July 25th (Thursday), 2013|
I have three daughters, 30, 26 and 23. I can't imagine my life without them but it ain't easy. I raised them to be independent, open-minded, outspoken and tenacious. While that has made them all pretty amazing and successful it's also made them hard as hell to parent. Or at least pretty hard to be their mother at times. And if I had it to do all over again, I wouldn't change a thing.
Act as if what you do matters. It does. William James
Posts: 2268 | Registered: May 2006 | From: Midwest
Member # 23717
| Posted: 10:40 PM, July 25th (Thursday), 2013|
I don't think girls are bad. But, I was thankful that my first child was a boy.
My mom has untreated moderate/severe depression her whole life. It's also likely that she has a personality disorder.
Needless to say, my relationship with her was unhealthy and rocky at times.
So, yes, I was afraid of having girls. Mostly I didn't want them to end up like I did (I unknowingly married an SA and spent the better part of my mid-20's-early 30's in therapy).
I didn't want to have a relationship with them that was similar to the mother-daughter experience I had growing up.
Posts: 1297 | Registered: Apr 2009
Member # 25560
| Posted: 10:47 PM, July 25th (Thursday), 2013|
I adore my boys and think I would have had challenges raising a girl (hair). But I would have dearly loved to have a daughter to love and share girly things with. I imagine the joy (and fear) that might come with having a grandchild from your daughter would create a bond that can't be replicated with grandchild with a son.
But, we don't get to choose, unless we adopt, that is a special blessing in and of itself, so we enjoy and love the kids we have.
Damn autocorrect is responsible for the silly errors, sorry!
Posts: 6049 | Registered: Sep 2009 | From: In my head
Member # 15906
| Posted: 10:49 PM, July 25th (Thursday), 2013|
As you see below I have 2 of each. It's been a rough couple of years for me with my girls.
My girls are such the total opposites of each other. I struggle with my youngest DS but I think it's because she is so not like me when I was that age.
I'm glad I have a little break with my boys for a few years before the teens. My only issue I deal with is trying to get him to shower more and wear deodorant.
Posts: 1414 | Registered: Aug 2007 | From: PNW country
Member # 34602
| Posted: 10:52 PM, July 25th (Thursday), 2013|
I have 3 girls. When I was pregnant with the oldest I wanted a boy. I was a wrestler in jr. high and high school. I never did girly things. I thought I could relate to boys better. When we found out she was a girl I was a little upset. Now I can't imagine having a boy. If I were to have another child, and it was a girl, I would never feel like I'm missing anything. DD7 and DD4 play ice hockey. DD7 is on the travel team. DD4 and DD22 months beat the crap out of each other and laugh their asses off. They think farting is funny. And if we walk into Sephora they want to put on makeup and come out looking and smelling like French whores. Will they be giant PITAs a teenagers? Probably at some point. It's one of those things that I'm just going to have to wait and see. I wasn't like that while WH's cousin had to be called out of school sick because her flat iron broke. Ok...now you got me teary thinking about how much I love my girls...for now...
[This message edited by TattoodChinaDoll at 10:54 PM, July 25th (Thursday)]
WH: 36 TimeToManUp
Married: 13 years, together 19 years
3 daughters: 11, 7, 5, and 2 angel babies (2013 and 2014)
Confronted him: 12/22/2011
This is the most difficult thing I've ever done.
Posts: 1840 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: New Jersey
|Sad in AZ|
Member # 24239
| Posted: 10:55 PM, July 25th (Thursday), 2013|
I cannot imagine having a daughter. I was beyond thrilled that I had a son. I know I was a complete enigma to my mother; we were never in sync when I was growing up. She got along famously with her sisters, and my sister and I hated each other (we still don't get along well.) I loved to be alone; my hobby was bird watching. Mom could just not relate.
Apropos scardyKat's observation about granddaughters, I was much, much closer to my paternal grandmother than I was to my maternal grandmother.
You are important and you matter. Your feelings matter. Your voice matters. Your story matters. Your life matters. Always.
Me: FBS (no longer betrayed nor a spouse)-62
D-day: 2007 (two years before finding SI)
S: 6/2010; D: 3/2011
Posts: 25179 | Registered: Jun 2009 | From: Arizona
Member # 16024
| Posted: 5:05 AM, July 26th (Friday), 2013|
I always wanted a daughter. I'm not close with my mom and I guess I always had this idea of what a mother/daughter relationship should be like.
People would always say 'girls are so tough, wait for the teenage years'. Well, they came in like a lamb and people would say, 'wait, you'll see!'. I spent a few years waiting for the shoe to drop and it never did. Smooth sailing, awesome kid, we are extremely close, always have been.
I stand by the idea that it depends on the kid. They are individuals and their personalities will be what they are.
DD and I are a lot alike. I get her, she gets me. She is a 21 year old young woman who I would choose for a friend in a second if she wasn't my daughter.
DS and I are close. He talks to me about things and I mother him and obviously I love him, but sometimes when he talks it's on such a different wavelength I might as well be talking to an alien.
But he makes me laugh and smile and there's nothing like the feeling of hugging your son when he's 6 feet tall towering over you and he's squeezing you into a bear hug and you think 'this is my boy!'.
“Empathy has no script. There is no right way or wrong way to do it. It’s simply listening, holding space, withholding judgment, emotionally connecting, and communicating that incredibly healing message of “you’re not alone.” ~ Brene Brown
Posts: 54999 | Registered: Sep 2007
Member # 37091
| Posted: 6:11 AM, July 26th (Friday), 2013|
I'm my daddys little angel, since I'm the youngest but I'm definitely a mama's girl. My mom is my best friend.I have no kids to compare it to though.
Posts: 3615 | Registered: Oct 2012
Member # 28571
| Posted: 7:20 AM, July 26th (Friday), 2013|
Daughters look great until they turn into teenagers. After seeing what some coworkers have to deal with I'm glad we just have to deal with the typical boy shit involving improvised explosives, police, petty theft, etc.
Posts: 7848 | Registered: May 2010 | From: USA
Member # 14576
| Posted: 7:55 AM, July 26th (Friday), 2013|
She's fire and sweetness. Frustration and hilarity.
I. Love. This.
Describes my DDs, especially my yougest (DD's are now 29 and 26) to a tee.
My girls went through turbulence as teens, but that was hormones, and I'm sure boys go through it to some degree as well. A little rebellion (DD 29 got a tongue piercing behind my back...and I think that was the "worst" thing she did...and for that, I am thankful). She was (and is) more of a daddy's girl.
My youngest DD was a spitfire from age 2-6 - fully equipped with a firey temper and she was a biter. But she mellowed out after that and was definitely a mommy's girl. Today, she has an 18-month-old DD - who is JUST LIKE HER (hence the "curse" we impart on our children, "wait till you have one of your own, may they be just like you") But in all seriousness, in spite of DD's firey self, she is also an old soul, a loving person, and so intelligent (as is my grandddaughter).
My oldest DD was always mellow (a couple of smart-mouthed teen years, but no biggie) - she now has a 4 yo DS who is sweet but...he's a 4-year-old boy...nuff said. Her DD is 8 months old and babbles constantly - but it's early - too hard to tell what her true personality is yet.
So I had one of each - a daddy's girl and a mommy's girl. But both really good girls. They hated each other as teens but are now very close. They share a common bond - infertility - both needed assistance to have their miracles.
So after that long-winded response, NO, GIRLS ARE NOT THAT BAD. They're actually quite awesome!
[This message edited by Lalagirl at 7:56 AM, July 26th (Friday)]
Me - 52; FWH - 54
Married 34 years 9/2/17
2 grown daughters-33 & 30
8yo GS,4yo GD & 2yo. GD (DD33) and 5 yo GD & 1 yo GD(DD30). D-day #1 - 1/06; D-day #2 - 3/07
Reconciled! Construction Complete.
Posts: 6030 | Registered: May 2007
Member # 29341
| Posted: 8:01 AM, July 26th (Friday), 2013|
I have an almost 4-year-old daughter. She's definitely my girl - she loves her daddy but she and I are very tight.
I think all kids are different. My daughter loves superheroes and dressed as Iron Man last Halloween. She likes stereotypical girl things too, but she's very much her own person, and fearless, brave, and kind of wild. My niece (who's now 18) was very similar, while my nephew was quiet, calm, easygoing, and sensitive to others' feelings. Every kid is different. I'll confess I'm NOT looking forward to the teenage years but that's just because I remember what I was like as a teen. But I in no way feel like having a daughter is inferior to having a son - I don't know why anyone would think that. I also don't think I'm luckier than someone with a son. I think people should just be grateful for what they have.
Proud mom to a lovely young lady and a sweet little boy.
Posts: 8242 | Registered: Aug 2010 | From: Southeast US
|Topic Posts: 16|