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Newest Member: Invisiblesoul (61783)

User Topic: What do you do to better yourself?
♀ 39912
Member # 39912
Stop  Posted: 11:17 PM, July 25th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Inspired by a comment I read today, people here are always talking about improving yourself, working on becoming a better person, figuring out strengths and weaknesses...

What do YOU do to work on you? Since your A, have you become more spiritual? Do you exercise? Something you do in particular that gives you time to think or helps you work through your challenges? What are your coping mechanisms when BS has a trigger?

Posts: 30 | Registered: Jul 2013
♂ 26859
Member # 26859
Default  Posted: 11:34 PM, July 25th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Honesty with self. That's really what it comes down to. And it sounds as selfish as hell...but that is what drives things now.

WH - 46 (crap...)
BW - gerrygirl

Posts: 6114 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: Tri-Cities
♀ 16024
Member # 16024
Default  Posted: 5:28 AM, July 26th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

What Baxter said.

I try to 'be kinder than necessary' in all situations. I don't gossip, I appreciate the small things. I am mindful of my blessings and take nothing for granted.

I am more open to listening and really hearing my BH.

When my BH has a trigger I talk to him. I ask him if he's okay and what, if anything, can I do to help.

DS, you are forever in my heart. Thank you for sharing your beautiful spirit with me. I will always try to live by the example you have set. I love you and miss you every day and am sorry you had to go so soon, it just doesn't seem fair.

Posts: 55129 | Registered: Sep 2007
♀ 37879
Member # 37879
Default  Posted: 6:29 AM, July 26th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I try my damnedest to live as authentically as I can. I'm learning through some incredibly difficult work how to do this, undoing a lifetime of poor choices, terrible coping skills, and being honest with myself, and with others. I've been exercising, cooking, gardening, and I took a workshop in plein air pastels. (Apparently I have some hidden talents and artistic abilities I never knew about )

Me: FWSO 39 He: FBSO 39 and my heart
Together 21 years. We survived infidelity. "Healing takes courage, and we all have courage, even if we have to dig a little to find it." Tori Amos

Posts: 611 | Registered: Dec 2012 | From: by the sea with my love
♀ 39000
Member # 39000
Default  Posted: 8:32 AM, July 26th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm still in the early days of recovery, still picking up the pieces.

I read a lot. Pre-A I read only fiction, but now I read "self-help" (for lack of better categorization) books. I'm working to become a better communicator, so I can send and receive positively. When the only tool in one's toolbox is a hammer, the whole world looks like an occasion for nails.

fWW: 42
BH: 52
DDay: April 21, 2013
Sweet DS & fierce DD, under 10
Former motto: "Fake it till ya make it." Now: "You can't win if you don't play."

Posts: 1523 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: The First Coast
Topic Posts: 5

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