What do YOU do to work on you? Since your A, have you become more spiritual? Do you exercise? Something you do in particular that gives you time to think or helps you work through your challenges? What are your coping mechanisms when BS has a trigger?
I try to 'be kinder than necessary' in all situations. I don't gossip, I appreciate the small things. I am mindful of my blessings and take nothing for granted.
I am more open to listening and really hearing my BH.
When my BH has a trigger I talk to him. I ask him if he's okay and what, if anything, can I do to help.
"That's the thing about pain, it demands to be felt."
I read a lot. Pre-A I read only fiction, but now I read "self-help" (for lack of better categorization) books. I'm working to become a better communicator, so I can send and receive positively. When the only tool in one's toolbox is a hammer, the whole world looks like an occasion for nails.